Will & Mackenzie & The Feast of Saint Valentine
by Katycat1970
Summary: A look at the highs and lows of Valentines Day for Will & Mackenzie from 2006 to 2013!
1. February 14th 2006

**A/N - Here's a little 8 part story for you - a kind of Valentine's treat for you... Basically, each chapter will be a scene from each Valentine's Day since W&M met - from 2006 - 2013 - one chapter for each year!**

**I wasn't going to post this until nearer the 14th but as it's Amy's birthday I thought I'd let you have Chapter 1 now...**

**For Amy - Happy Birthday!**

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**FEBRUARY 14****th**** 2006**

Will McAvoy tried to swallow the ever growing lump that seemed to be appearing in his throat throughout the whole of the last segment… Why it was there he had no idea… Sure it was Valentines Day and yes he had a date that was due to start in about thirty minutes time but it wasn't as if he was fifteen years old anymore – he was in his forties and had been dating the beautiful Mackenzie McHale for nearly two months. Two wonderful months that had easily been the happiest of his entire life so why the hell was he nervous at the thought of taking her to dinner?

Maybe because he knew this was the real deal – he knew she was the one for him and he knew that tonight had to be perfect – infact better than perfect if that was even possible….

"Great show everyone." He heard Mackenzie say to the control room… "Now go…. Go have some Valentines fun all of you!"

Will sighed. There it was. That voice - the voice that lit up his life these days... That voice that belonged to his closest friend, Executive Producer and now girlfriend – although girlfriend didn't quite seem enough to explain the vast amount of feelings he was holding for her.

The friendship had started pretty much the day they met – there was just that special something – call it chemistry – between them, since the very first time they'd shook hands on that Summer afternoon six months ago. It sounded stupid to most but Will had honestly felt something change inside of him that day… He'd never been one for "Office Romances" so he had worked hard to convince himself it was just a close friendship between two work colleagues but inside he knew it was something so much more.

If he was totally honest, Will had most definitely had his concerns about a female Executive Producer but Charlie had convinced him that she was good, one of the best up and coming EP's in the business he had said over a bourbon one night, and most definitely worth taking a chance on. Will had read her resume, done his research on the daughter of the British Ambassador but still he was dubious if it could actually work with a woman running his show every night.

But it wasn't long at all until he very quickly realised on that day - the day she'd marched so confidently into his office that this would more than work – that this woman would be the answers to all his prayers – both professionally and personally. They'd chatted, debated and generally enjoyed each other's company straight away and twenty minutes after he'd first met her and she'd left his office and made her way into her own, he realised that he was missing her already. By the time they'd finished their first show together that night, and he'd poured himself a very large scotch before bed, he knew he had completely and utterly fallen for her.

Even with the ever growing 'thing' between them it had taken Will over four months to even get the courage up to ask her for a date, but the office Christmas party seven weeks ago had provided them with some relaxation time and a chance for him to ask her out for a casual dinner the following evening. He could hardly believe his luck when she seemed as keen as he did for a date and as she took his hand that night at the party, and asked him for a dance, he knew at that very moment his life was changing forever. He had never in his life had feelings like this for another human being and yes, he had been terrified of those feelings, but he was also more excited for a dinner date than he'd ever been in his life.

Dinner the following night had done nothing but confirm it all for Will – he had briefly wondered, whether outside of work, there would still be that great conversation between the two of them but he needn't have worried – if anything it had been even better than he had ever expected… The conversation had flowed all evening and they had hardly even bought up the subject of Television News by the time he walked her home that night.

He thanked his lucky stars that night as he said goodnight with a gentle, tender kiss to her lips – she was charming, confident, intelligent, funny – everything Will had ever wished for in a woman and there she was – on a date with him! On top of all that – boy was she beautiful and sexy but - No – Will wouldn't let his mind go there yet – there was plenty of time for that in the weeks and months to come!… He knew that he had been the envy of other men that night - there had been many a gentleman's eye wandering across her as she reached for his hand and led him towards their table. Will felt like shouting from the hills – telling everyone she was with him – surely all his dreams had come true at last.

But back to tonight – February the 14th 2006… He pulled his earpiece out and gathered his notes together before heading towards his office. The excited, happy smile she threw him as she waved and hurried to her office to change did nothing to dull the small fire that had started to burn inside of him halfway through the broadcast. At times he was shameless with his thoughts when he let himself fall under her spell – even in the middle of a broadcast like he had tonight – he could ignore most things whilst talking to that red light but the sound of her voice, so sensual at times when she spoke into his ear, would knock down every professional barrier he'd built up over the years.

He browsed through his emails and poured himself a scotch for Dutch courage and waited. Over a wonderful Christmas weekend together they had decided to take it slow, Mackenzie had just come out of bad relationship and had admitted she was nervous about a serious long term relationship with another man. That didn't worry Will though – he had already realised this was something special - Will was more than prepared to be the perfect Gentleman and wait until she was comfortable until they took their relationship to the next level. But, even he had to admit, it was becoming more and more difficult to stick to his chivalrous promise – especially during the evening's they spent together after their broadcasts and the long winter weekends they'd spend cuddled together on his sofa watching old movies and putting the world to rights…

"Hey gorgeous…"

He looked up to his office door and saw an absolute vision of beauty standing before him. She always dressed so simply and Will had often wondered how she always managed to look so stunningly beautiful with her plain, simple attire. Tonight she had her hair pinned up, which always attracted Will's eyes to her long, very kissable neck and she was wearing a spectacular black cocktail dress that was strapless and finished just above her knees…. For a moment, definitely an un-chivalrous moment, Will allowed himself imagine those incredibly sexy long legs wrapped around his waist later as he (hopefully) carried her towards his bedroom.

"You ready?" Mackenzie whispered from the door… She looked as nervous as he felt and for some reason this melted him a little more than usual….

"Come here…" Will replied as he stood up and quickly downed the rest of his scotch watching her make her way across his office.

She placed her wrap on the sofa and coyly smiled… Once she was by his side she automatically reached for his hand and wrapped her fingers around his… "Good show tonight..." She whispered but Will could tell she was just making small talk - he could see her insecurity about the dress shining through….

"You look absolutely amazing Mackenzie – how did I get to be the luckiest man in New York tonight?"

She giggled and he could see her visibly relax….. "Well, you don't look too bad yourself" she joked as she let his hand drop and fiddled with the end of his tie nervously. Will leant down slightly and placed the softest of kisses onto her lips and marvelled yet again how the simple gesture of brushing his lips against hers could make the whole of his insides perform some kind of gymnastic routine - his heart jumped into his throat and down to his toes in one swift movement and then all the way back again before he'd even had the chance to think about kissing her more. He pulled away a moment later and looked her up and down with a cheeky, questioning look on his face…

"You know – I think this beautiful, sexy outfit is just missing a little something though…"

Mac actually looked stunned as it dawned on her what he'd said - she really had no idea whether he was kidding her or being serious. In her opinion, she thought she'd managed to perform a minor miracle with her outfit considering he'd given her about twenty minutes to turn from professional TV Executive Producer to gorgeous, sexy girlfriend ready for a late night Valentine's Day date.

"Maybe, this will help." Will added, a mischievous grin appearing on his face as he reached down to his desk to retrieve the black velvet box that was sitting there waiting for her…

Mackenzie gasped out loud as he opened the box a moment later to reveal a stunning silver Tiffany's necklace with a thick silver heart shaped pendant hanging from the chain….

"Be My Valentine?" Will asked, his face erupting in a massive smile as he took in her reaction to the necklace….

"Oh Billy." Mac whispered a moment later, a single tear escaping her eye and trickling down to her cheek….

Will sighed as he watched her slowly run her finger across the silver heart… 'Billy' – he swore he hadn't been called that since he was ten years old…. He really didn't like being called anything but 'Will' but coming from her mouth it seemed to melt him a little more inside…. Yes - he could definitely get used to being called that!

She gazed up into his eyes and slowly took a step towards him… "I don't know what to say…"

Will chuckled… "Well, there's a first for you Ms McHale!". He picked up the chain from the box and walked around until he was standing behind her, his fingers trailing tantalisingly up her arm and sending shivers down her spine… "Hopefully you'll say yes…" he whispered as he fixed the chain behind her neck and placed a lingering kiss on her bare right shoulder…

"You like it?" Will asked, his hands running down her arms again until they reached her hands….

Mac swung herself around and automatically her hand lifted to feel the pendant hanging around her neck again…. "I love it… Thank you Will – it's beautiful…" she said sincerely and instantly pulled him into her arms. As she hugged him tightly he closed his eyes and breathed in her smell – he loved to hold her against him like this – he felt so safe and so loved even though they hadn't actually said the words 'I Love You' yet….. He felt it though and was certain she felt the same way too – a feeling this special this could surely not be so one sided.

"So Mr… Are you taking me somewhere gorgeous for dinner, dancing and champagne?" She muttered, still clinging to him and letting her fingers play with the hair at the nape of his neck – a gesture he would never tire off….

"Mmmm – Champagne?" Will questioned, pulling back slightly and arching his eyebrows….

"Yeah – We're celebrating aren't we?" Mac whispered as she gently cupped his cheeks in her hands…

"Sounds good to me darling but what are we celebrating?"

"hmmmm – I don't know yet." Mackenzie muttered as she pressed the softest of kisses to the corner of his mouth… "But I'll be sure to think of something by the time you take me back to your apartment tonight…"

He knew she was flirting with him but he also realised from her words and the look on her face it was also her way of saying that tonight was the night – tonight was the night she wanted him to make love to her. They'd both known for a few days now that this next step was coming - it had almost happened at the weekend but Will had slowed them both down and whispered that he wanted the night to be special. That's when he had kissed her with as much passion as he could and asked her out for a special dinner on Valentine's night… She had nodded and squeezed him tightly at the time – she had realised what he meant and agreed instantly.

"Our tables waiting…." Will whispered as he leaned in for another soft kiss….

When they separated a moment later, Will smiled and retrieved her wrap from where she had placed it on the sofa. He took her by the hand but Mackenzie stopped and once again cupped his cheek in her hand…

"Happy Valentine's Day, Billy."

The words were whispered so quietly and as always so simply from Mackenzie but he could tell from the look in her eyes that she truly meant it…. He was certain she loved him just as much as he loved her and tonight they'd finally be able to show each other just how much.

"Happy Valentine's Day, Mackenzie."


	2. February 14th 2007

**Thanks for the reviews - they mean a lot!**

**This is posted today because Miss SerialStoryLover has puppy dog eyes and isn't afraid to use them! :) **

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**FEBRUARY 14****th**** 2007**

As Mackenzie very slowly woke up she could have sworn she was in heaven – there really was no better feeling, or no safer feeling than waking up with Will wrapped around her. She often thought, as she watched him tenderly gazing at her that their colleagues and their friends never got to see this side of him – this tender, romantic, loving side of him - it really was his best side by far and she constantly wondered what she'd done to deserve this man in her life. In her semi-awake state she could feel his soft lips caressing her neck, her shoulders, her face, her lips, her chest – indeed anywhere he could possibly reach without moving the duvet and letting in the cold French February air. She finally opened her eyes fully and saw his happy, contented, smiling face gazing down at her and she was certain at that moment she'd never loved him more.

"Good morning beautiful…. Or should I say Bonjour ma chérie." He whispered just seconds before his lips smashed down onto hers in a long and passionate kiss – a kiss that most certainly woke Mackenzie up completely…

They were in Paris for a romantic long Valentine's weekend. Will had managed to plan the whole weekend away without Mac even suspecting a thing – all he had told her was to keep the 14th free for dinner! But unbeknown to her, Will had sneakily scheduled them five days off work, booked flights, hotels and even packed a weekend bag for Mackenzie without her even realising a thing. When they'd finished their broadcast on Thursday evening he'd made her gather her belongings together quickly and had whisked her out of the studio and into a waiting car within minutes much to the amusement of their staff who obviously were all in the know.

He still didn't tell her any details until they booked into their first class flights from JFK to Paris and only then when they were on the plane did he tell her all his plans for the weekend…

"What you thinking darling?" Will asked as he rolled over on top of her and kissed her tenderly….

"Just how lucky I am to have you for a boyfriend…" Mackenzie replied lovingly…

Will smiled and tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear… "I love you so much Kenz...Don't know what I'd do without you in my life these days…"

Whenever he told her that she was certain her heart would explode just from the sincerity and love that was always shining from his eyes but still, somewhere in the back of her mind, it worried her – the pressure of making this relationship work for fear of breaking his heart…

"I love you too." Mac whispered and let her fingers trail down the side of his cheek until they came to rest on his lips…

And she did love him – she knew that for certain. As he started to slowly make love to her she wrapped her arms around him tightly and pulled him as close as she could, loving the feeling of him on top of her, embracing her, caressing her, loving her – never before had sex actually felt like making love but with him it did. There was something about this man that she knew was just perfect. He treated her like a goddess and she couldn't put into words just how special he made her feel. She had wondered time and time again over the last twelve months how she'd ever waited two months for him to take her to bed and make love to her or how she had ever taken another four months to tell him she loved him in return. She'd known since their very first date over fourteen months ago that she was in love with him so why, even now, did she find it so hard to say the words back to him.

She wondered whether it was just her or whether other women had these sort of troubles too? That particular thought haunted her a lot of the time but she had no real close girlfriends these days that she felt comfortable enough to talk to about it. She'd been bought up in a loving family but there had never been great declarations of love between her and her family. She didn't doubt that they loved her and she knew she loved them in return, but it was just never said – it was assumed but never confirmed. Maybe that was just the stuck up, British upper class way but Mackenzie remembered longing to hear the words from her Mother's mouth when she was a teenager and young adult – but still, as hard as she wracked her brain, she couldn't remember anyone – anyone at all apart from Will – ever telling her that she was truly loved.

But boy did Will make up for all the rest of them… He literally found a way every single day to tell her or show her how much he was in love with her but it was only every now and then, in moments like this when her guard was completely down and she had so many feelings rushing around her body, did she whisper those words back to him. Some nights, when he was sound asleep and she was left gazing at him sleeping in the darkness, she would whisper words of love to him but she longed to be able to find the courage to tell him first, when he was awake and could actually hear her. But sadly, as yet, she still hadn't managed to say those magic three words first.

He was truly a Saint with her though – never once did he complain at her inability to say the words… He'd try to coax the words from her sometimes when he was feeling playful and often he'd succeed, resulting in Mac whispering her love in return, loving the look of pure joy that spread across his face when she did. He'd tease her about it but never in a nasty way – never in a way that made her feel uncomfortable and never in a way that it would make her doubt his love for her. He was the most understanding of men she'd ever known – when she struggled with her feelings he would tell her it didn't matter – he would tell her that her being in his arms and his bed every night was enough for now – that he was happy as long as she was happy. She lost count of the times he would make everything okay for her if she got emotional and scared… he would make her feel loved so very much without any grand gestures – just by being him and encouraging her to be her. He truly did love her for being herself – she didn't have to impress him – she didn't have to ever put on an act for him so why oh why did she constantly struggle to accept his love?

Mackenzie closed her eyes as Will tenderly made love to her, all the time whispering her name and repeatedly telling her he loved her as he slowly and lovingly bought them both to an amazing climax. She had never meant to cry but she couldn't help the tears that escaped her eyes though as they held each other afterwards – she hadn't meant to worry him but she knew instantly as he rolled off her and bought her into his arms that Will was concerned for her yet again.

"What's the matter sweetheart…" he asked quietly, his right arm wrapped around her shoulders and his left gently stroking the side of her face….

How could she tell him she was feeling scared of just how much he felt for her? How could she tell him she was feeling suffocated at times? How could she worry him any more than he was already worried? Or how could she spoil any more of this wonderful weekend? She couldn't and wouldn't do that to him so instead she buried her face into his shoulder and pulled herself flush against his body so that there wasn't even a millimetre of space between them.

"Shhh…" Will whispered repeatedly as he held her tightly and fondly stroked her hair as she continued to weep into his shoulder, all the time peppering her hair with soothing kisses….

"I'm sorry…" Mac whispered a couple of minutes later as Will wiped the tears from her cheek…. "I'm all over the place for some reason…" she added, desperately hoping he would accept that explanation…

Will kissed her again on the tip of her nose and gazed at her – that look of worry still very evident on his features although he was doing his best to hide it… "You would tell me if there's something wrong darling?" he asked….

"Of Course – there's nothing wrong… I promise…" Mac tried so hard to assure him wanting desperately to allay his fears…

"I hate to see you cry…" he whispered, popping the softest of kisses to the tip of her nose… "Especially when I don't know why…"

"It's just the jetlag I think… It's gotten me all emotional...Ignore me…" Mac replied, feeling a tad relieved as Will seemed to accept her answer.

"So what do you want to do today?" Will asked sitting up slightly and pulling Mackenzie with him so her head was rested against his chest – he was obviously trying to lighten the mood and for that Mac was very grateful… "The world is your oyster Madame - or at least Paris is…" he joked…

"I don't mind…" Mackenzie muttered, feeling her eyes flicker shut again… "Surprise me – You're extremely good at surprises I've decided Billy!"

"Well, I say breakfast in bed and then a stroll around the City and maybe a trip up the Eiffel Tower?" Will replied, picking up the breakfast menu from the bedside cabinet but he could already feel Mac dozing in his arms….

Being very careful not to move her or wake her, he picked up the phone to order room service before he too let himself doze off again into a blissful nap…

* * *

It was five hours later, after a romantic lunch for two in the most gorgeous of pavement cafés, that Will and Mac finally looked out over the most romantic city in the world from the top of The Eiffel Tower…

"Could we just stay here forever?" Mac asked, a happy smile across her face as she took in the view…

"Up here?!"

"You know what I mean silly…." Mac replied, nudging his arm with hers… "I love this City… I'd love to live here for a while… Would you?"

"I'd live anywhere you lived Mackenzie – New York, London, Paris, the Moon…" Will whispered as he put his arm around her shoulder causing that old familiar safeness to flood back over her body. "I really couldn't care – as long as you were there…."

"Oh Will… how do you manage to say the most beautiful things to me eh?"

"Maybe because I love you so much…" he said, just a second before his lips met hers…

Mac wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him as close to her as she could manage…. Since they'd both woken up for the second time and shared a breakfast of juices, coffee and croissants her emotional mood had much improved and for the time being she felt pretty much normal and just a tiny bit silly for her earlier tears. She was glad Will hadn't mentioned it again but she could tell he was tentative with her – he had kept her so close all day long and had hardly let her hand slip out of his since they'd left their hotel. Maybe it was just the emotion of the trip or maybe it was the fact that she was terrified of the feelings she felt for Will but she was doing her best to put those thoughts right out of her mind - determined not to let it ruin any more of this wonderful weekend. Will had planned the most romantic weekend to celebrate their love and the least she could do was enjoy it and not cause him to worry the weekend away…

As if reading her mind, Will leant in and pressed the softest but most loving kiss to her temple…

"Happy Valentine's Day, Mackenzie…" He whispered, those beautiful blue eyes of his shining back at her….

For just a moment Mac was transported back to his office and their first Valentine's Day together last year before their wonderful dinner at Enrico's…. Without even realising what she was doing Mac slowly lifted her hand to her neck and felt the heart shaped pedant that she hadn't taken off since he'd placed it around her neck exactly one year ago today.

"Happy Valentine's Day, Billy."

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**Enjoy the lovey fluff while it lasts - you do remember that they spent the following three years apart yes?! **

**You have been warned!**

**x**


	3. February 14th 2008

**Oh - Is there anything worse than sad and angry Will? **

**It just makes me want to hug him!**

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**FEBRUARY 14****th**** 2008**

Will had been absolutely determined not to think of the previous two Valentine's Days he had shared with Mackenzie but he'd only been awake for a couple of hours and already thoughts of her were filling his every waking moment. He literally couldn't get her out of his mind and already he had no idea how he was supposed to get through the rest of this damn, wretched day.

"Keep your mind on other things…" Charlie had valiantly tried to tell him just last night as they sat together after the broadcast sharing a Bourbon, but that was easier said than done.

It was a Saturday for god's sake which really didn't help his situation – could the powers up above have made this day any more difficult for him? At least if Valentine's Day had fallen on any other day then he'd be at work and at least he'd find something that someone had done wrong and then he'd more than likely shout at some feeble assistant to vent his frustrations, but here alone in his apartment he had no one to shout at. He didn't like himself very much lately but that was the kind of person he'd become – betrayal, heartbreak and bitterness would do that to a man.

But here he was – the year that the love of his life decided he wasn't good enough for her they had to make the most romantic day of the year fall on a weekend - Someone up above was definitely taking the piss out of him and laughing aloud. Fuck them and fuck everyone Will thought – that seemed to be his thoughts all the time recently. They had no idea what it was like in his head… They (and by that he meant his friends of whom there were very few left) had no idea how bloody hard it was to follow their advice and throw himself into his work when work was where he missed her the most. Didn't they realise how hard it was to have some EP – he didn't even know the new guys name yet – shout instructions into his ear. And more than that – why did the damn man have to shout? Mackenzie was always so gentle and so calming in his ear and that's what he liked….. Will had lost count of the number of times he'd pulled his ear plug out just to shut out that damn man's voice. Didn't they know he only wanted Mackenzie's soothing tones coming through his ear piece and no one else's? Why couldn't anybody else in the world seem to understand that?

He knew his friends were running short of patience with him and his misery – he knew they thought that after four months he should be getting over her and getting on with his life but they could go fuck themselves. They had no idea how muddled his head was and they had no idea how broken his heart was. It wasn't a case of it breaking in two – that might be easy, just to join two pieces of his heart back together but his heart was literally broken into a thousand pieces and however hard he tried to move on, to get his life back on track, it was fucking impossible when all he could see at night was Mackenzie with her hands all over Brian fucking Brenner.

By three in the afternoon Will was literally going out of his mind – he had even taken himself out for a run at lunchtime – just in the hope that he could run out his frustration but the moment he was back and showered and sat in front of his TV he couldn't keep his mind of anything but Mackenzie.

Much to his relief a few minutes later he heard a knock at his apartment door… He pulled open the door and saw his one trusted friend leaning against the doorframe holding up high a bottle of Bourbon….

"I can't stay long but I bring news…. And I thought you could use a drink?" Charlie said as he pushed his way past Will and into his apartment…

Will could have almost kissed the old man for turning up… He was possibly the one person that Will had allowed himself to fall apart in front of over the past few months. Charlie knew how much he loved Mackenzie, he had been responsible for their introduction two and a half years ago and had witnessed the way Will had instantly fallen and fallen hard for his EP. Charlie had also witnessed the breaking of Will's heart and just how troubled he had become after Mackenzie's infidelity.

"Cheers." Charlie said, handing Will a tumbler half filled with Kentucky's finest bourbon…. Will didn't reply but he nodded and clinked his glass against his friends and sat down in the corner of the sofa...

"You have news?" Will asked, relieved for something – anything to take his mind off this damn day….

Charlie ignored his comment and started a new conversation of his own…

"So, how you doing?"

"How the hell do you think I'm doing Charlie..."

"I'm guessing not too well right now by that answer..."

"Very astute of you Charles... You know - It should be against the law - days like today - celebrating a day for lovers."

"Unless you're actually in love with someone – then it's a fantastic day so I hear…."

"Bullshit. It's a form of bullying - it makes single people, or people like me that have had the woman they love cheat on them, feel fucking suicidal. That's how I'm feeling Charlie."

Charlie took a sip of his bourbon and let the liquid slide down his throat – he was tempted to remind Will of how much he loved February the 14th last year when he was spending most of his working hours planning a surprise trip to Paris! But then – that probably wasn't the best way to get his point across to his friend…. There was also something he needed to say, which he was certain wouldn't go down very well, and there was no point putting this off any longer...

"She's taken a job in Islamabad... A buddy of mine at CNN told me she's reporting on the uprisings out there..."

"Mackenzie?" Will asked, his face a picture of complete and utter disbelief...

Charlie nodded and for a moment Will didn't say a word… Part of him really didn't want to believe what Charlie had just said and the other part of him was trying hard to actually formulate a sentence…. Eventually, as the words job & Islamabad ran around his head again he slammed his glass down on the coffee table and stood, making his way across to Charlie... "You're kidding me right?" he shouted, even though there was a slight tremor to his voice...

"I wouldn't joke about this…. She flew out last week apparently."

"What the fuck?... What's she trying to prove?" Will muttered, his face getting redder by the second…

"She's not trying to prove anything… She doesn't have a job since she was forced to leave here…"

"She chose to leave Charlie – Nobody forced her to go….She's just trying to prove a fucking point…"

"Look son - take a seat and calm down..."

"No Charlie I will not calm down... Why the hell would she take a job reporting from a fucking war zone?"

"You know Mackenzie…." Charlie answered, really not wanting to add fuel to the fire and tell Will the real reason…

"Whatever has happened between us - she doesn't have to make a fucking point and go out there…"

"That's unfair Will – she's trying to do the right thing by you…. by you do you hear?" Charlie's voice had gotten loud and he too was now sporting a very red face…. "Maybe she wants to give you space… Maybe she knows she's not welcome here anymore... Maybe she knows she's ripped your world apart and it just hurts her too much to stay in New York."

"She's hurt? She's not had her heart torn out and baked in a fucking oven."

Charlie stood up and made his way over to his bottle and topped up his glass... He loved this man like the Son he never had but sometimes he could be a prized fucking idiot…. He watched as Will threw himself back down on the sofa and gulped back his drink in one...

"I can't believe she hasn't said anything to me before she left?" Will muttered a moment later...

"I'm guessing she's told you in one of the many emails she's sent you that you haven't opened... Or maybe she wanted to tell you on one of the many calls you constantly ignore from her."

Will didn't reply... He had no practical answer for Charlie apart that it was just some sort of self-preservation thing - in his fucked up mind if he didn't talk to her or didn't read her emails then he would be able to keep her out of his thoughts... Yeah - like that one's working he thought to himself...

Charlie, always the perfect host, topped up his glass again and poured another for himself...

"Charlie, it's not safe out there for a girl like her... She can't take care of herself in a City like this - how the hell is she supposed to stay safe out there?"

Charlie shrugged his shoulders and didn't answer but swore in that moment he could see a tear roll down his friends face. He'd known this news wasn't going to go down well but he had also known that he had to tell Will in person and away from ACN – if he found out by watcing TV or at the studio from some producer or something then he could well fall apart even more…

"Are you still seeing your guy? Habib?" Charlie asked quietly…

Will nodded but then shook his head straight away…. "Sometimes… He makes me talk about her though and she's the last thing I want to talk about…"

"He's right – you should talk it through with him… It'll help…"

"Right." Will smirked…. "The anti-depressants and bourbon work much better my friend – believe me…."

"Will – take this from a man who knows – that's not the way to help things… I'm not going to force you but you should keep your appointments with him…."

Will felt a shot of anger surge through him at his friend – just why had he chosen today of all days to tell him the love of his life had taken herself off to a warzone – a place where some journalists hadn't made it back alive… He looked up as Charlie once again reached for the bottle…

"Just why the hell are you here Charlie? Apart from wanting to depress me even more?"

"Because I thought you might just want to hear this from a friend and not find out on TV tonight when she files her first report….."

"I did." Will replied quietly after a few moments thought…. "Thank you."

"And besides, Mackenzie asked me to come - she wanted me to make sure you were okay today."

Will was stunned... "You've spoken to her?" He asked, his eyes filling with tears and his voice soft for the first time today...

Charlie nodded and stood to make his way over to the door... "I read her emails and I take her calls Will…. Maybe you should do the same…."

Will didn't know what to say – part of him just wanted Charlie to go – he couldn't handle the thought of anyone talking to her about their situation but the bigger part of him just wanted to know if she was okay without him….

"She's okay?" Will asked hesitantly, just as Charlie called for the elevator...

"No. She's not at all okay Will. Her heart is broken and she's worried sick about you… But then, you'd know that if you read her damn emails."

Charlie left with a look of disappointment firmly in place on his face. Will sat on the sofa staring out of his apartment window for what must have been an hour…. He tried so hard to clear his mind, to stop thinking about her but it was of no use… He'd literally give his life right now if he could be back on Valentine's Day last year – waking up with her in his arms in Paris, he longed to re-live the day they'd spent together at The Eiffel Tower and - God – the night they'd spent when they'd got back to their hotel room after dinner – it honestly was the second best night of his life - the best easiest being the year before with Mackenzie in Enrico's.

He sighed… Memories like this were enough to drive a man mad.

He finally stood and wandered into his bedroom and sat down on the edge of the bed. Knowing he shouldn't, but just feeling so desperate to see her face, he pulled open the drawer to the bedside cabinet and pulled out a photo frame – it was always his favourite one of her that he'd taken a couple of years ago when they were first together. He gazed down at the photo with unwanted tears streaming down his face and briefly he laid the photo back face down on the bed in the hope it would ease the sudden aching in his heart. It didn't of course.

A minute later, he picked up the photo frame once again and gently trailed his finger down the outline of her face – he wondered how it was possible that just looking at a photograph could make you want to relive one moment over and over again. As he gazed at the sparkle in her eyes and her lips looking so damn kissable, he had no idea how it was possible to still be so very much in love with this woman and hate her at the same time but he knew, even after everything she'd done to him he still loved her – he'd tried everything he could to get her out of his mind but all to no avail – she was implanted into his brain for the rest of his life. He just had to learn to live with it.

"Happy Valentine's Day, Mackenzie…."

* * *

**:( But you knew it had to come though and at least I'm posting pure fluff in my other story!**

**Stay strong - happier times ahead!**

**x**


	4. February 14th 2009

**FEBRUARY 14****th**** 2009 **

Mackenzie leant back against the pillows on the hard bed in the room of her hotel (if you could actually call it a hotel) and flipped up her laptop lid. She was pretty certain another email to him would go unread but it made her feel better knowing that she was at least making the effort and trying to fix the single biggest mistake of her life. She had sworn to herself when she took this job that distance would not stop her efforts of trying to right this horrible wrong and so far she had kept her end of the deal – the problem was a certain Will McAvoy refusing to even acknowledge she was still living and breathing. She had made herself a promise on that terrifying flight to Pakistan over a year ago, that the moment he showed her any signs of forgiveness that she would resign straight away and hot foot it back to the USA – a promise that so far there was absolutely no need for her to fulfil.

It was coming up to 8pm local time in Islamabad, which meant it was 10am in New York. Will would most definitely be up by now and hopefully checking his emails before he headed off to the studio. Mac knew in her hearts of hearts he would ignore her once again but luckily, she was born an optimist and she hoped that maybe today would be different. February the 14th had been kind to them during their two years together and maybe Will would give her a break today – maybe he would remember the good times instead of the bad and maybe he would send her a reply… Maybe pigs would fly…

Mac closed her eyes and sighed… how could her life have changed so much in three years? Just 36 short months? How, in one hundred and fifty six weeks, could she have gone from being blissfully happy beyond words to this? This feeling she had inside of only being half alive? This feeling she carried around every day with a hole so big in her heart that sometimes it was hard to breathe from the aching it caused?

February the 14th 2006 – that's when this sorry situation had really begun – all this mass of feelings that had started with love and somehow turned into hatred. These days, she often pretended she hated that day three years ago but deep down inside of her she knew it was one of the best days of her life – it was the day he had first told her he loved her – the day they had made love for the first time – the day Mackenzie had felt her life had truly begun…

She stopped her typing for a moment, took a deep breath and let her mind wander back to that day…

_Already the evening had been pretty perfect and it hadn't even really started. The feeling of nervousness and excitement that had been with them both for most of the day had built to a crescendo by the time the show had finished and the way Will had looked at her as she'd crept into his office had sent her completely weak at the knees. He had told her she looked beautiful and she could see from his eyes how much he had meant it, he had kissed her so tenderly, held her so tightly and when he'd given her the necklace before they'd left for Enrico's it was everything she could do not to break down into tears – just from pure happiness._

_As he'd walked her out of their Newsroom, with his arm firmly wrapped around her waist, Mackenzie didn't care for once who saw them or what anyone thought about the anchor and the EP starting a romantic relationship… She didn't care for one second that they would probably be the top of the gossip list the following day and she didn't care if they had some explaining to do to their bosses in the coming days - She had a feeling that this man was turning out to be her one true love and for that she'd risk everything._

_From the moment they had entered Enrico's Mackenzie had fallen in love with the place. The way the tables were laid out set with their fresh, crisp linen… the candles slowly burning, the beauty of the crystal glasses, the immaculately dressed waiters and the small band that were placed towards the side of the restaurant just behind the dance floor. The romantic atmosphere that had been created so beautifully and all for people like her and Will – people who were in love and wanted to celebrate their love on the most romantic day of the year._

_By the time 11pm came around, Mackenzie had already had the most fantastic time she could remember on a date… The food was amazing, the wine delightful and the conversation had flowed – so much so the hours seemed to be racing by. Mackenzie gazed at the man that she knew she had completely and utterly fallen for and smiled at the effort he'd made tonight - just for her... He just seemed to have this way about him – a way of making everything absolutely perfect and she just knew that she was in love for the first time in her life._

_Will must have sensed her lost in her own thoughts as she felt his hand take a hold of hers…. "Dance with me?" he whispered in a tone that was so simple but so filled with love…. _

_Mackenzie smiled and nodded and before she'd even had a chance to stand he was there behind her, pulling out her chair for her… He placed his hand on the small of her back as he guided her towards the half empty dance floor and already Mackenzie could feel the heat rise inside of her._

_"Have I told you that you look absolutely beautiful this evening?" he whispered the moment he'd pulled her into his arms…. "I truly think I'm the luckiest man in New York tonight or even the world!" Their bodies were close and Mac smiled as Will reached down and undid the button on his jacket, letting the garment fall open… _

_"I want to feel you against me…" he whispered in her ear as he nipped at her neck with his lips…. _

_Mackenzie obliged and stepped a little closer until their bodies were completely pressed together and instantly she wrapped both of her arms around his neck loving the feeling of her body pushed up against his. They stayed like that – joined together as one swaying in time to the soft music but as the song came to an all too quick end Will didn't let her go or didn't stop swaying and soon enough the band started their next number. It was only a few seconds into the song when Mackenzie heard him sigh and, if possible, he tightened his hold on her with one arm while the other rubbed soft circles onto her bare shoulders..…._

_"Fly me to the moon and let me swing upon the stars…" Will sang along quietly into her ear and in time with the band as they played so beautifully…. _

_Mac giggled and Will lifted his head from where it was buried in her neck and smiled a smile that melted Mac to the core…. He stopped singing for a moment and gazed into her eyes… A moment later he lifted his hand and gently trailed his fingers down the side of her face and then ever so slowly leant in and pressed the softest of kisses onto her lips while the band played on…._

_"In other words, hold my hand… In other words, baby, kiss me." He sang again and Mackenzie reached up to press a trail of hot kisses from his chin to his ear and back again…._

_"Fill my heart with song and let me sing forever more, _

_You are all I long for, All I worship and adore…. _

_In other words please be true, In other words I love you…"_

_Mac couldn't help herself as the first verse came to an end…. She gazed into his eyes and almost felt dizzy from the love that shone back at her as he'd sung that last line… She tried to take a deep breath but she couldn't seem to get any air into her lungs… Finally, not being able to wait any longer she pulled his head towards her and kissed him with a passion that was so hot it was becoming too much for her body… She could feel from the growing bulge in his trousers that it was becoming too much for him too…. _

_ It wasn't long before Mac felt his tongue slide along her lips begging her to deepen the kiss, which Mac was more than willing to oblige to, but not here… As gorgeous as this restaurant was they needed to get out of here and they needed some privacy…_

_Mac pulled away a moment later and lifted her eyes so she could gaze at his…. "Let's go back to yours…" she whispered, trailing her hand down the side of his face and letting it come to a stop on his lips….…_

_"Are you sure?" he asked simply, his eyes full of hope and love for her…._

_Mac nodded and briefly pressed her lips to his once again… "I want you to make love to me Billy…"_

_Will closed his eyes for a moment and then buried his head into her shoulder, pressing a series of hot kisses to her neck, before he finally lifted his head and looked into her eyes… "I love you Mackenzie… I truly do…"_

Mac sighed as she was suddenly bought back to the present by a bang in the hotel corridor…. That night had been the most incredible night of her life – the meal, the dancing and even more so the night spent at his apartment making love until the dawn broke through – it was a night when Mac had truly learnt what love was and a night she would never forget - whatever happened - for the rest of her life.

What Mackenzie would give right now to be on that dance floor in Enrico's…. She shook her head and sighed – as she had reminded herself many a time – it was her own damn fault and she'd gotten exactly what she had deserved. Her Grandmother would say that she'd made her bed so she had to lie on it which was fine – she would lie on it but she just wished right now that bed was in New York City rather than this god forsaken place. Feeling slightly melancholy, as she always did when she thought of him, Mackenzie looked up to the same moon that her and Will used to gaze at from the balcony at his apartment and for a while, if she imagined hard enough, she could feel his arms wrapped around her so tightly and she could even feel his soft lips caressing her neck as they so often used to do…

She'd come to this hell hole to escape the catastrophe she had created from her affair but in reality, it had done nothing to heal any wounds for her and probably not even for Will either. At the time, she had remembered her Father telling her that running away wouldn't put right whatever had happened between her and Will and at the time she'd chosen to ignore his advice but she realised now just how right he was.

She often spoke to old friends, particularly Charlie, and at some point through the conversation she'd ask him how Will was doing. Charlie was protective of Will, which Mac respected, but he'd always give her a little snippet of information about Will – not too much - but always something when she asked after him. From her latest conversation with Charlie it seemed he was over the worst finally and he was doing okay and moving on with his life. News Night had suffered - in Charlie's words, and not hers, he'd become "obsessed with ratings" - some would even say "a rating's whore" but Will himself was doing okay – not great – but okay. That was enough for Mackenzie she had told herself – as long as he was recovering and improving then her being here, out of sight and out of mind, was more than okay in her books or so she tried to convince herself night after night as she laid awake thinking of him.

She was feeling tired – it had been a long, exhausting, terror filled day and Mackenzie knew sleep would take her soon. She'd spent five horrendous hours earlier hiding out in a derelict building whilst her and her team were waiting for the all clear to go outside. Jim, who was a young and very promising producer on her team, had flippantly mentioned Valentine's Day and how different love was away from the Western World, and Mackenzie without ever intending to, had erupted with words of wisdom for her young team. She had told them to never let love leave them filled with regrets, to never be scared that it could go wrong, that once you found that special someone who loved you for simply being you then you should embrace it and hold onto them tightly with both hands and never let them go - not at any cost. She had told them true love could sometimes hurt but a true love is a true love and worth fighting for…

As they all watched her with stunned faces she had even found herself whispering lines from one of her favourite poems trying to get her message across…

"_Gather ye rosebuds while ye may, Old time is still a-flying, And this same flower that smiles today, tomorrow will be dying_…."

The young faces of her little team looked at her while she quoted line after line, verse after verse, almost trance-like and offering no explanation for her sudden poetic outburst…. Later, as they all sat in silence, she couldn't get the last two lines out of her head;

"_For having lost but once your prime, You may forever tarry."_

Was it really like that she asked herself? Would she forever tarry? Sadly she thought that Robert Herrick's words just might be right - she probably had lost her only chance at love when she'd foolishly answered Brian's call that fateful night in 2007 and then here, in the safety of her hotel room, she let the tears she hadn't allowed herself to cry for so many months stream down her face… Memories of their first meeting so many years ago when she'd left his office with such a buzz, their first date after the Office Christmas party, their first Christmas together followed by that amazing first Valentine's day in 2006 and how she thought at the time that love would be with her forever… Happy memory after happy memory swam around her mind sending her almost dizzy with sadness and regrets.

And then a little while later, as the tears dried on her face, it came to her like an epiphany. This was wrong. It was pathetic - this hiding away out here in a warzone when everything she wanted was back in the States. She had originally thought that this job was a good idea but no – not any more…. All she had done was run away from the problems she'd caused. She was physically and mentally exhausted and maybe it was time to grow up, go home and face her mistake whatever the consequences. She couldn't stay here forever until the wounds of the most stubborn man that ever lived healed…. She would go back, she would ask to see him – hell, she'd camp outside ACN if she needed to and she wouldn't give up until he accepted her apology.

She abandoned her email, placed her laptop on the floor and laid herself back on the hard, lumpy mattress… Just as her eyes flickered closed she reached up to the heart shaped pendant that was still hanging around her neck and she smiled at the memories the necklace would always generate. It wouldn't be easy and she was certain that he had probably moved on with someone else by now but all she really wanted was his forgiveness so she could get rid of the damn guilt that invaded her mind. She didn't expect him to open his arms to her or to take her back and live happily ever after but as long as he could at least forgive her then that would be just fine by her.

She felt her eyes finally flicker shut and knew she would be asleep within seconds… She hoped for once, it would be happy dreams of Will tonight and not the misery that usually invaded her sleep….

"Happy Valentine's Day, Billy."


	5. February 14th 2010

**Last Valentine's apart - we all know what happened next year...!**

**x**

* * *

**FEBRUARY 14****th**** 2010 **

Will sat on the balcony of his hotel room overlooking the soft Florida sand and waited for his laptop to spring into life. His hangover was in full swing and he was already onto his second coffee of the morning and his fifth cigarette. The thirty something blonde woman he'd spent the night with last night had left his hotel room just twenty minutes earlier almost pleading for another date that night, but already Will was filled with more regrets after his latest one night stand than any single man should be.

A long weekend in the Florida Keys had seemed like the perfect solution to his ever growing Valentine's Day hatred but after last night's date Will was pretty sure he should have just stayed in New York – at least there wouldn't be another notch on his bedpost if he'd stayed home alone. This had been the routine for the past few months though – one hell of a lot of first dates but still none of them even came close to the feelings he felt for Mackenzie – especially when it came to the bedroom…. Never before had he realised that there was a huge difference between sex and making love and never before had he felt such guilt at sleeping with different women. He was single for God's sake – he was allowed to sleep around - It wasn't like he was being unfaithful to her but somehow it felt like he was – somehow it felt like he was in the wrong. He cursed his thoughts as he let the guilt wash over him again - It was almost as if she was there – imprinted onto his soul and now, after nearly three years apart he still couldn't get the damn woman out of his mind. They had said time would heal but really – they knew nothing – time healed nothing if the wounds were that deep and you were still in love with the person in question.

Will had to admit it was getting better though – on busy days or times when he was out with friends the ghost of what could have been with her left him in peace for hours and hours on end but it was the nigh time, on nights when he couldn't sleep that she returned to haunt him…. The only decent way of getting rid of her at these times was scotch – the answer to most of his problems these days.

Will took a long drag on his cigarette and clicked on his emails – his heart stopping in his throat as it always did when he saw her name in his inbox. Of course she'd email him today – it was Valentine's Day and if he was honest, he was expecting it all along. As he had with every other email he'd received from her over the last three years he moved it to its special folder – a folder full of fifty odd emails – all unread, all un-replied to and all sitting there patiently in case he ever found the courage to inflict even more pain upon himself and read what she had to say.

He clicked on the next email down and scanned it…. It was an invite to sit on a panel for a political debate at North Western in a few weeks' time… He had absolutely no desire to attend but he knew Charlie would probably insist he went along – this kind of thing was apparently good for the network and good for ratings and as Charlie reminded him so often he'd do anything for the ratings. He forwarded the email to his assistant to deal and stubbed out the cigarette.

The sun was shining brightly and Will closed his eyes for a brief moment before opening them again and staring at the computer screen. Damn it – what happened to his mind when she came into it? With most other things he could push unwanted thoughts aside but her? Never. Once a thought about her was in there it was damn well locked in there until either sleep or whisky made him forget.

Trying hard to banish her from his head he decided on a swim in the Ocean – surely that would get her out of his mind? But then, before he'd even had the chance to move, he thought of their trip to Cape Cod during their first Summer together and the jelly fish incident that followed and he soon felt a silly grin spread across his face at the memory….

"Dammit…" he shouted to anyone who was around to listen, which of course was nobody…

He stared at the laptop for a moment – desperate to click into that folder…. Somewhere in the back of his mind he'd always wanted to read them and for the first time since this sorry mess had begun he felt he was actually ready to read them…. Well – kind of ready – if you're ever ready for that sort of torture. It wasn't as if he didn't want to hear what she had to say - he'd been desperate to read them for over two years now but somewhere inside of him he'd always convinced himself that her emails could damage his already fragile heart. What if they said she still loved him just like the way she'd said she still loved him on the night she left him? What would that do to the tiny pieces of his heart that he'd already worked so hard to piece back together.

"For fucks sake – just get a grip McAvoy…" he whispered to himself, annoyed at his own damn uncertainty…

Running his hand through his now slightly greying hair he stared at the screen as if he was making the biggest decision of his life – he knew if he read them now then everything changed but he just wasn't sure if it would change for the better or for the worse.

After a minute of staring he clicked onto the folder and let his weary eyes scan the subject lines… The titles were all pretty much of a theme… Emails sent at special times of the year entitled Happy Valentines, Happy Birthday, Happy Thanksgiving or Happy Holidays…. There were quite a few titles that included the word sorry in it but this latest one sent today caught his attention –

'Coming Home' filled the subject line.

Will's fingers hovered over the mouse pad on his laptop before he finally found the courage to double click on the email. The moment the email opened he felt like something had exploded in his head and now he wasn't sure at all that he should be doing this. He stood so quickly that his legs sent the chair he'd been sitting on crashing into the wall behind him disturbing the Florida peace and quiet. He wandered inside and grabbed his cigarettes before making his way over to the mini bar. He checked his watch – 11am – that was even a tad early for him these days but he needed it if he was to even attempt to read the email he'd just stupidly opened.

"It's five pm somewhere in the world." He whispered to himself as he poured himself a scotch and tried to push the mental image of his Father drinking in the mornings out of his mind…

From the safety of his hotel room he stared at his laptop sitting on the table on the balcony – it was almost as if he attempted to go back out there that the place would explode or something equally as dangerous. A stupid thought yes - but that's how his brain worked when it came to Mackenzie McHale these days. He sat himself down on the edge of the bed and it took three scotches to make him feel brave enough to head back out to the balcony.

But head back out he did… Will pulled his chair back towards the table and reached for his packet of cigarettes…. He lit one and took a long drag and as he exhaled he let his eyes focus on the screen:

_Dear Will_

_It's been too long since I've written last but things have been a tad hectic here with me. To tell you the truth – I don't really know if you're even reading these mails that I continue to send you. I'm guessing from the lack of replies that you're obviously still angry with me for everything that happened before and for that, as always, I am truly, truly sorry._

_I know from Charlie that you've heard about the stabbing – I'm fine so don't worry- but I just wanted you to know I'm coming back to the States in a few weeks… It would be lovely to see you – to catch up on things - but I do understand if you don't want to see me…. I just wanted to let you know that I'm back…_

_Will – I don't really know why I'm writing to you – I guess I just wanted to say hello and see how things are between us…. Charlie says you're doing well which is so great to hear and I do try to catch the show whenever I can – you're looking well Billy…_

_I really do hope to hear back from you – maybe we could meet for a drink?_

_With love, as always_

_Mackenzie_

_X_

Will closed the email and picked up his glass, taking a gulp of the amber liquid… He closed his eyes and forced them to stay shut just to stop the tears that had formed in his eyes from falling – it was almost as if reading her words could make him hear her voice – a voice that had constricted his heart from the first day he'd met her…. He left it a moment and then took a deep breath and resisted the urge to open up the email again to reply – he couldn't and wouldn't let her know how much he still thought of her. Instead, he scanned the emails titles and found one that had been sent a couple of months before….

_Dear Will_

_How are you? Christmas will soon be upon us here in London… Yup – I'm home, convalescing, with the parents so you can imagine how much I'm enjoying my Mother fussing over me! I shouldn't complain – as annoying as she can be it's great to see them both again – especially my Dad… He said to say Hi to you the other day if I ever spoke to you by the way… So… Hello from Dad! _

_I take it you heard from Charlie about the stabbing? (I did send you an email but I'm not sure you got it because surely you're not that mad at me that you wouldn't reply to that email?) Anyway, I'm on the mend and really am a very lucky girl – if it wasn't for the speed of my wonderful team and the medical staff it could have been a lot worse. _

_But all's well that ends well right? I'm in one piece and now have a nice four inch scar to show for my troubles – a proper reporter at last eh?!_

_Anyway, I just wanted to say Merry Christmas to you Billy – I hope you are well and happy._

_With love, as always_

_Mackenzie_

_X_

Closing the email, he cursed himself for his damned weakness and cursed himself for suddenly wanting to read more – already he felt like he was becoming addicted to reading these messages…..

He had a feeling it was going to be a long day. …

He looked again at the list of emails and clicked on the next one down – the subject line read 'Hello from Germany'.

_Dear Will,_

_I think by now Charlie has told you what happened out in Pakistan… I am okay – very sore but I'll survive or so I'm told! _

_The days here are so long, just sitting in hospital here by myself - it leaves far too much time for thinking… thinking about life and regrets and all the wrong choices one can make in life…. It's enough to drive you crazy at times – emailing someone that won't ever reply to you when all you really want to hear is if they're okay?_

_But, good news - my Parents are coming out soon to take me back to London – at least that should be some company and some friendly faces._

_I wanted to say Thank You for the flowers Will – at least I think they were from you – I hope they were from you or else I'll sound pretty stupid when you read this….. They can only be from you – There was no card attached but I've never told anyone else that Daises are my favourite flower and yellow was the only colour rose I liked… Anyway, they're gorgeous Billy, and have put a smile on my face today which was desperately needed…. So thank you._

_I'm feeling sleepy now with all these damn drugs they pump into me here – they're supposed to take away the pain but they're not even coming close to doing that…._

_Would really love to hear back from you Will – I miss you._

_With love, as always_

_Mackenzie_

_X_

Will had realised the moment he'd clicked on that email that reading it would be a mistake… Reading the email again reminded him of that awful day in his office last year – the day Charlie had told him about her stabbing. It was probably the longest day of his entire life waiting for news of her to filter through and he simply couldn't describe the relief he felt when he'd heard she'd pulled through the operation okay.

He didn't remember too much of what Charlie had said to him that awful Winter's day but he remembered Charlie finally leaving his office which was when he fell apart, he remembered the guilt he felt because it had been his stupid, stubborn actions that had sent her there in the first place, he remembered locking his office door and crying until there were no more tears left inside of him, he remembered throwing up time and again in his bathroom at the thought of her laying there bleeding with a knife being pulled down her abdomen, he remembered punching the wall as he thought about her on an operating table fighting for her life and mostly he remembered praying for her all night long – praying like he'd never prayed before, pleading with God to keep her alive – offering up his own life instead to God if he would just keep his Mackenzie alive.

He remembered wishing she was back in his arms and he remembered how he swore he would make it all up to her if he ever got the chance, he remembered longing to hold her in his arms again, longing to kiss her again, longing to talk to her again, he remembered pleading with God again to give them a second chance and he remembered sending the Daises & Roses the day he'd heard she was going to be okay… She loved Daises – she had always named them the happiest of all the flowers and then yellow of course for the Roses – the only colour for a Rose, Mackenzie would say.

He wiped the tears that had involuntarily crept out of his eyes and grabbed another cigarette, smoking the whole of it before even glancing back at his laptop. Finally, he clicked on the next email down – this time it had been sent a couple of days before Thanksgiving…

_Dear Will,_

_A quick note to say Happy Thanksgiving… I hope all is good with you…_

_It's not quite the same here in Pakistan at Thanksgiving but there are enough US journalists here for us to attempt a holiday celebration – I've even persuaded the Brits to join us in our makeshift party room here in our hotel (if you could actually call it a hotel)!_

_I caught your show the other day by Satellite – you're looking as handsome as ever Will but come on? What's happened to the proper news stories? You're better than that Will - you always have been. Get back to the news Billy and leave the entertainment stories to the others!_

_With love, as always_

_Mackenzie_

_X_

Will closed that one pretty darn quickly – he had often wondered what she would think of the reporting that News Night had somehow turned into… Actually to be correct – he knew what she would think but he often wondered if she'd ever bring it up with him…

"Yeah – well you have no fucking say over what we report these days Mackenzie – you gave up that right when you walked out on us…." Will muttered at the screen as he searched for the next email – this one was sent on his birthday…

_Dear Will_

_HAPPY BIRTHDAY BILLY!_

_Fifty years old! You're looking good on it Will!_

_Take care and have a great day – thinking of you._

_With love, as always_

_Mackenzie_

_X_

As he started to close the email he noticed a jpg file attached to the email – he double clicked on the file and instantly felt his breath get caught in his throat as an image of Mackenzie, dressed in army cargo pants and holding up a 'Happy Birthday Will' sign appeared on his screen. He checked the date of the email and noticed it was a couple of weeks before she was stabbed. Once again, Will couldn't stop the tears that crept from his eyes – she looked as beautiful as ever smiling into the camera and Will found himself reaching out to the screen to gently trace the contours of her face… He had no idea how long he stared at the screen but he soon realised the tears had stopped and he was almost smiling at her – it really was good to see her face – he'd missed her so damn much. Pulling himself together slightly, he made to close the picture but just as he was about to click it shut he noticed the silver heart shaped pendant hanging around her neck… He couldn't believe she was still wearing it and instantly he let his mind wander back to 2006 and that moment in his office when he had genuinely thought he'd be happy for life…

How wrong could he have been?

Leaving the jpg file on his screen he made his way quickly back into his room and retrieved another scotch from the mini bar before heading straight back out to the laptop and gazing at her again. After half an hour or so he finally closed the jpg file but not before he had saved a copy of it on his computer – just in case Charlie wanted to see it of course….

He sighed and couldn't help himself as he searched for what email to read next – five emails read and it was becoming addictive… He clicked on the next email down and immediately wished he hadn't as he realised it was sent on the anniversary of their break up…

_Dear Will,_

_I hope this message finds you well and in better spirits than I. _

_ Will, I've stared at this screen almost all night and after drinking far too much of – god knows what I'm drinking right now - I find I still don't know what to say…. I want to say I'm sorry again and I need you to reply to me please… Just this once – I beg you Will…. _

_It's hard to constantly think of you during the long nights here and not wonder if you're actually getting these messages…I'm sure you must be and I just want to know that you're okay and if you're happy._

_I miss you Billy…. I know I have no right to but I do – more than I ever thought was possible. _

_I'm sorry with what happened…. I'm sorry that I broke your heart and I'm so, so sorry for splitting us up… I was young, stupid and scared of how I was feeling and I never realised how much I was in love with you until it was too late… I would literally do anything to fix it all and make it right again between us Will._

_Do you recognise the date today? It's been a hard day here – things are tough at the best of times but I can't stop thinking of you today…. _

_Anyway, I'm rambling now Billy (what's new I hear you say)…. I just wanted you to know how sorry I am… I know I've said it before but honestly, I beg you to accept my apology and set me free from all this guilt that I carry around with me._

_With love, as always_

_Mackenzie._

_X_

Email after email he read and by the time four pm came around Will had read every word of every email she'd sent over the past three years and watched every video clip of her he could find of her on You Tube. He had cried many tears and even laughed a couple of laughs but somewhere deep inside he thought he felt a bit better. Whether it was the fact that she was suffering along with him or whether it was apology after apology, or whether it was the fact that he felt like he'd been talking to her that made him feel better he wasn't quite sure – but he did feel a bit better.

When they were all read and he had poured himself another scotch he opened the latest email again… So she was coming back to New York at last? He honestly had no idea whether he wanted to meet her again for a drink? Part of him did but then another part of him – a bigger part of him didn't… He was still so very angry and hurt inside – he knew that for sure and he didn't want to meet her and end up yelling all night long. That he was sure he couldn't handle – they'd done enough shouting the night they'd split up and he was damn well not going through that again. Neither of them would survive that again.

Man – how had life changed so much in four fucking years he thought to himself… The 14th of February 2006 literally had been the best day of his life… It was the night he realised he was dating the only woman he could ever be truly happy with and it was the night he thought he'd finally found someone to be part of a family with – someone to share a life with, someone to have his children – someone who could prove that true love really did exist.

How had it all gone so fucking wrong? One moment they were happy, in love, planning for the future and the next she was ripping his heart out and spoiling his once chance of a happy ever after. To this day Will had absolutely no idea why or what he'd done to cause her to have four months of sex with that fucking dickhead? All he'd done was love her with all his heart.

"God. This has to stop…" Will whispered to himself as he thought about heading to the shower… He closed his eyes and tried to blank her out of his mind, determined to forget her and this damn day once and for all but no sooner had he shut his eyes he heard a ping, letting him know he had received a new email… Looking down he sighed as he saw her name in the inbox again… He didn't even attempt to ignore the email this time – he clicked it open straight away…

_Hey Will,_

_I meant to say in my earlier email…_

_"Happy Valentine's Day, Billy."_

_X_

Will shook his head and sighed – however hard he tried, wherever he went would he ever be able to get this Woman out of his mind? Probably not he thought…

He shut his laptop down and stared at the Ocean, longing to be strolling along the shore hand in hand with her like the other couples out there… Maybe he would meet her for a drink if she was coming home? What would he have to lose? She already had his mind, heart and soul – what else was left for her to take?

"Happy Valentine's Day, Mackenzie."


	6. February 14th 2011

**FEBRUARY 14****th**** 2011**

Mackenzie stood by his office door as the realisation of what was happening appeared on his face. He gave her a look that said he didn't believe this was happening, before he stood and slowly made his way across the office towards her. The clapping and cheering from his team and the whole staff of ACN started the moment he stepped foot outside his office and continued as he strolled towards the middle of the Bullpen, all the time shaking his head ever so slightly in disbelief. Mac watched with a huge sense of pride – and probably love - welling up inside of her.

The events of today and Will wiring the money for Khalid was what Mackenzie had meant all along on the day back in April last year – that horrendous day when she had sent the dreaded email to god knows how many people. She had always insisted that Will had a huge heart – that he'd do anything for his team but he so very rarely showed it in public. Well today, today she had been determined to show everyone the real Will McAvoy and the huge amount of human kindness he possessed.

She very slowly followed a few paces behind him – her heart almost bursting inside as he took in the scene… He muttered a few words to Don and then, as the line of staffers kept flowing into his office he very slowly turned towards her…. Mac's breath got caught in her throat as she saw the look on his face – it was a look she hadn't seen for so very long and it was a look that almost knocked the breath out of her…

"You did this?"

He asked the question so quietly and as always when he was feeling something deep, so simply… At that second so many different thoughts rushed around Mackenzie's head…. How should she reply? What should she say? Things had improved so much between them in the last month since the Gabby Gifford broadcast that she didn't want to rock the boat here. It was like they'd come to some sort of peace – some sort of un-spoken understanding that they didn't want to hurt each other anymore… that they wanted to move on to a future where neither really knew what it held for them on a personal level but they wanted to move on anyway…

"Happy Valentine's Day." She answered quietly, hoping that he could see the sincerity in her eyes and that she meant it with all her heart. He did.

Will hesitated for only one second before he closed the small distance between them and pulled her into him, his arms instantly wrapping around her shoulders and holding her tightly to his chest. For Mackenzie - it finally felt like she was home. She took a deep breath, determined not to think anything more into this than friendship, but she couldn't help but close her eyes briefly and let old memories of him holding her wash over her – she had waited five long years to have his arms around her once more and it was a feeling she never wanted to lose again. After a moment or two Mac rested her head against his chest and she was certain she felt him squeeze her just a little tighter.

Neither really knew how long they stood there holding each other - neither really wanting to move from the other's embrace and both knowing the other was thinking back to Valentine's days past…. Finally Will started to pull away and Mackenzie sighed at the empty feeling that engulfed her as they separated….

"Thanks for this Mac…" he whispered a moment later, his arm immediately snaking around her shoulder and pulling her into his side.

"My pleasure." Mac whispered back, her own arm wrapping around his waist as the rest of the staffers strolled in and out of his office. She watched the happy smile that spread across his face as he observed the scene and for the first time since she'd returned to ACN ten months ago she really felt like this was starting to work between them. There was no doubt whatsoever that the show was working – that was getting stronger by the day but personally, this moment was the best they'd been since late 2007 and for that Mackenzie was hugely satisfied with the way her little plan had worked out.

Sadly the 'Rudy' moment came to an end all too soon and for the next hour Mackenzie was finding it hard to concentrate. Every email she opened she realised she had scanned without even taking in one piece of information, the report she was attempting to write was no further along than it was sixty minutes ago and the temptation to get up and go see if he was still in his office was getting more and more with every passing minute. Sighing, she stood up and made her way over to the office window and watched the city below go about its normal business….

"Join me in a drink?"

Mac heard the voice from behind and spun around to see Will standing nonchalantly, leaning against the door frame, bottle & mugs in his hand…

"Hey…" she said shyly, still relishing in the feeling of his arms around her an hour or so ago…

Will smiled as she slowly nodded and he made his way to her desk and poured some scotch into the two ACN mugs… He handed one to her as he joined her by the window, gazing out on the city below…

"Cheers." He whispered and clinked his mug against hers.

For a minute or two nothing was said but it was never awkward – silence had never been awkward between them….

"That was some stunt you pulled…" he said a moment later and Mac looked at him to see he had a sparkle gleaming in his eye and a smile on his handsome face…

"Well, that was some stunt you pulled first…. You didn't have to do that for Khalid but I'm ever so pleased that you did… I'm proud of you Billy…"

Will nodded and took a sip of his scotch…. "As I said…. he was one of our guys…. I couldn't let anything happen to him… I wouldn't let anything happen to any member of our team Mac…"

Mackenzie took a long look at him while he stared out of the window and then smiled to herself as she made her way over to the sofa and sat down. This was her point all along – he had a heart as big as a range rover and the way he'd just said 'our' team a moment ago had made this whole stunt worthwhile…. This was the old Will back – the one she had first met years before and the one she had fallen completely and utterly in love with. She kicked her shoes off and tucked her legs underneath her and patted the seat next to her a moment later when Will looked her way….

He had only been seated a moment when Mac turned to him… "Will - tell me the truth…. You didn't pay that woman any money to protect me did you? It's blackmail…"

"You think I'll answer that when you've already said you're going to beat me senseless?!"

"Will – I'm serious…. You can't do this…. Whatever happens - happens… I won't allow this to happen…"

"She can't get away with it Mac – can you believe she calls herself a fucking journalist? She's nothing more than the garbage she writes…"

"But what she writes is generally true – you can't take that away from her… It does look like I was trying to get my boyfriend elected to Congress… I did get my team in trouble in Baghdad - not that it was my fault – but I was still in charge of the team out there... I was responsible for them…."

"She still can't get away with it Mac – the like of her give our profession a bad name… You're a journalist, Jim, Maggie – they're journalists – we're all journalists on this team – she's not. We report the news – she sets out to wreck lives of people who don't' deserve it - people like you and I won't let her do it to anyone on my team…"

Will stood and retrieved the bottle of scotch he'd left on Mackenzie's desk…. He topped up both their mugs and then sat back down next to Mac… Again, nothing was said for a few moments as they both sat back and enjoyed the silence together…

"What are you doing here so late on Valentine's night?" Will asked a moment later….

"Don't change the subject Will… did you pay her?"

"Campbell's not taking you somewhere for dinner? He should be…"

"Did you pay her?"

"A girl like you shouldn't be sat at work late on Valentine's night…"

"WILL…" Mac shouted, her frustration with him growing more and more by the second…

"NO – I didn't pay her but YES I was going to until she pissed me off…."

"What happened?" Mac asked gently, extremely relieved that no money had passed hands…

"We ended up having words – I told her she could come after me all she wanted to but to leave my team alone… Why aren't you on a date with your boyfriend?"

"Because, I don't have a boyfriend any longer…." Mac replied quietly, not even able to meet his eye… "We've split up."

Will paused for a moment, feeling like a first rate jerk - he honestly had no idea….

"Mac… I'm sorry… I didn't know…" he said quietly, laying his hand gently on her arm….

"It's okay…"Mac answered, finally looking at him… "It's not your fault… It was always doomed to fail…"

Will sighed and exhaled loudly…. both of them took a large gulp of scotch…. "Why do I get the feeling it probably is my fault though?"

"Don't be silly… He was using me – you know that…" Mac replied dejectedly…

"He's a fucking idiot…" Will said, rubbing her arm, trying his best to comfort her…

"I'm not putting up with that from anyone least of all Wade Campbell – he can go to hell…" Mac said, sounding a lot more confident than she felt…

Will shuffled sideways slightly so he was nearer her and leant back against the sofa, wrapping his arm around her shoulder for the second time that evening… Mac laid her head down against his shoulder and instantly Will rested his head on top of hers…

"He's a fool and you deserve better…." Will mumbled a minute or two later…

"I got what I deserved… I always get what I deserve…"

"No you didn't…. That's not the actions of a man who loves his girlfriend…. You deserve the best Mackenzie and don't you even dare to think anything less."

As the words left his mouth, Will knew he sounded hypocritical – he had been no better than Wade Campbell over the past few months but that was all going to change – from now on in that would change. Mac hadn't answered him so Will pulled his head away to see if she was okay….. He noticed the single tear that rolled down her cheek and pulled her tightly to his side, wiping her tear away with his spare hand….

"Hey, come on - he's the idiot okay…. Mac, Please don't cry…."

Mac let her head rest down on his shoulder again and closed her eyes… How could she tell him that her tears weren't for Wade and that they were for him – just because he was being so damn nice to her…. How could she tell him that no other man ever stood a chance at winning her heart when he already had such a tight hold over it? She couldn't. She knew he still hadn't forgiven her and all the months of her working away at their new found friendship would be for nothing if she screwed this up now…. So instead she said nothing for a few seconds until curiosity got the better of her….

"No date for you either?" Mackenzie asked a few moments later, sipping her scotch and liking the warm, fuzzy feeling it was beginning to create in her head….

Will shook his head and sighed… "I made up my mind many, many years ago not to take a girl out on Valentine's night… way too risky…!"

"Risky?" Mac asked giggling lightly and lifting her head from his shoulder…

"Yeah…. Too risky…" Will replied, feeling brave…. "If you take a girl out on Valentine's night it means you're serious doesn't it?"

"And what? And the great Will McAvoy can't be seen to get serious with a girl eh?" Mac teased, feeling a little more tipsy with each sip of scotch…

"Only with the right girl….." he replied softly…. "I've only ever been out twice on Valentine's night since college… This girl I was seeing a few years ago…. she was special…."

Mac sighed and felt a lump rise in her throat – knowing exactly which two Valentine's days he was talking about of course….

"I'm sorry…" he whispered a moment later, hearing her sigh and feeling her tense in his arms…. "I shouldn't have said that - I was out of line Mac…"

"Forget it…" Mac replied in a whisper, taking a large gulp of her scotch… "They were good dates though weren't they? Those two years?" she added feeling pleased that they could at least talk about the past – even if they did have to have four or five scotches first…

"The best ever..." Will replied as he sighed slightly and pressed the softest of kisses to her temple… "You've always been the best date I've ever had Mackenzie…"

Mac didn't say anything for a moment, just taking in the feel of his lips on her skin, longing to turn around and kiss him properly but realising they were both under the influence of quite a lot of scotch now...

"Enrico's 2006 was the best night of my life.." Will whispered, feeling braver than he'd ever felt before and feeling terrified at the same time…. He didn't let her answer though…. "Top up?" he asked a moment later when neither really said or did anything…

"I'm feeling a bit squiffy…" Mac replied….

"You always were a light weight when it came to scotch Kenz…."

The use of her nick name shocked Mackenzie slightly – not that she minded him using it…. It was the first time he had used it since they'd broken up and Mac gazed across at him wondering what was going through that head of his - she wasn't even sure he'd realised he'd said it…

"We're a couple of old saddo's aren't we?" Will said, topping up her mug anyway… "At work at ten pm on the most romantic night of the year…"

Noticing his slightly slurred words, Mac looked across at him, a goofy grin appearing on his face… "Billy… Are you drunk?"

Will looked up, shocked at the accusation and then chuckled…. "shhhh! Maybe a little – don't tell anyone!"

"And you call me a light weight!"

"Yeah – well… I might have had three or four of these in my office before I plucked up the courage to come into here!" he replied, grinning…. "That and I try to blot out Valentine's Day these days…."

"Me too…" Mac whispered quietly, even more regret than usual showing in her voice… Will took a couple of deep breaths and leant his head back against the sofa…

"I'm so sorry I fucked everything up Will…" Mac whispered a minute or so later, reaching for his hand… "Will, you need to know I never meant to hurt you with everything that happened…"

"Mac - not now…" Will tried to interrupt but she carried on regardless….

"No Will – I need to say this – I've wanted to say this to you for four years….. I let the best thing that ever happened to me get away from me and I regret that every single day – you have to know that and you have to know I'm sorry… If I could do anything to turn the clock back I would…. I'd do anything to take us back to Enrico's in 2006 or Paris in 2007…."

The words were out of her mouth before Will had the chance to stop her…. He shook his head and stared down at their hands joined together, he wasn't ready to have this conversation but the last thing he wanted to do was hurt her – not when things had improved so much recently…

"Mac… I can't talk about this…" he whispered, hoping to God it wouldn't have her running from the room… "I really can't…."

"I'm sorry…." She replied a couple of seconds later, her voice barely a whisper….

Suddenly the silence that was usually so natural between them became awkward and embarrassing….

"We should be getting home…" he said, ignoring her apology once again – he had ignored so many over the past few years it felt natural to him…

Mac nodded, knowing she'd maybe taken things a bit too far but she could never pass up the opportunity of letting him know she was sorry – he had to know and he had to forgive her eventually – she wouldn't stop apologising until he did forgive her. Will reluctantly pulled his hand from hers and together they both stood, Will gulping down the last of his scotch….

"You'll be okay getting home?" he whispered, regret and sadness showing on his face… "You'll get a cab?"

Mac nodded again – she suddenly had no idea what to say to him…. He looked up at her and smiled slightly and started to make his way towards the office door… She looked so lost and so forlorn standing there just watching him and he so wanted her to know he was grateful for the Rudy scene earlier and that he was trying to sort out his muddled mind…

Feeling braver than he had in years he turned and marched back towards her, pulling her into his arms once again and burying his head in her shoulder…. Mackenzie instantly wrapped her arms around him again and pulled him as tightly into her as she could…..

"I'll work on it… I promise…." Will whispered so quietly that Mackenzie wasn't sure if he'd said it or she'd dreamt it…

Will wasn't quite sure what was happening - why he had gone back for another hug he had no idea, but he did know this last hour or two had gone someway to fixing his hatred of Valentine's Day a little – hopefully hers too - he so wanted her to be happy….

After a few moments he pulled away slightly and tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear….

"Happy Valentine's Day, Mackenzie…" he whispered softly to her, totally unable to resist the temptation he had inside of him to brush her cheek with the softest of kisses…

Standing up straight again, he saw Mac smile a smile so wide it hit him straight in the heart and sent a tingle right down to his toes…. Slowly she let her hands slide down from their resting spot on his shoulders and she held onto both of his hands…

"Happy Valentine's Day, Billy…."


	7. February 14th 2012

**FEBRUARY 14****th**** 2012 **

Will paced his office back and forth, back and forth constantly looking down at the spot on the carpet thinking he must have worn track marks into it by now. There was no word from her still and Will glanced at his watch once again… It was nearly three pm and Mackenzie never missed pitch meetings, she had never in all the years he'd known her, not turned up to work unless it was a very rare scheduled day off and he'd never ever known her to call in sick…

His worry was starting to build more and more with each passing minute and he wracked his brain to think what he could do next…. He'd called her, texted her, emailed her but still nothing – not a word to say whether she was okay or not. Please God let her be okay he thought to himself for what must have been the thousandth time that day.

There was a knock on his office door and he spun around to see Maggie poking her head around the door with a coffee and a sandwich in her hand…

"Any word?" he asked, knowing the answer all ready from the look on Maggie's face. She shook her head sadly and then walked in and placed the coffee and sandwich on his desk…

"Here… You should eat…" Maggie whispered, worrying that he hadn't eaten anything yet today….

"Has Sloan tried to call her?"

Maggie nodded again… "Tess went to her apartment too… There was no answer…"

"Has someone told Charlie? There must be someone we can call?…."

"You can't report her as missing until twenty four hours have passed…" Maggie replied, wanting to get out of his way before he flipped completely…

Will nodded, knowing that already, and watched as Maggie made her way back to the door…

"Will – you were the last to see her last night… Was everything okay?" Maggie asked timidly…

"I walked her to her door - she was fine…" Will answered, looking up at the young woman for some kind of inspiration…

Maggie smiled and nodded her head…. "Don't worry - I'm sure she's okay…" Maggie whispered as she slipped out the door…

Will sat on the sofa and dropped his head into his hands nodding his head again… He thought everything was okay – he was absolutely sure as he'd brushed the lightest of kisses onto her lips last night as they'd said goodnight that everything was more than okay…. Mind you, that was before he'd pulled his stunt this morning… It might not have gone completely to plan but he thought, maybe hoped, she would see it as a grand romantic gesture – but now – now he wasn't quite so sure. Maybe now he had fucked everything up - again…..

Things had been going great between him and Mackenzie recently – better than great. They'd been growing closer and closer over the past six months and last night was the pinnacle of everything they'd been building up to. It had been a highly busy, but also highly successful two weeks for the News Night team and last night – after what Charlie described as the 'greatest News Night broadcast in recent years' - Will & Mac had taken the whole team for drinks at Hang Chews.

Mackenzie had hardly left his side all night and after a few drinks Will had quietly asked her out for a late night dinner – just the two of them. Mac hadn't hesitated in saying yes and the late night pasta they'd enjoyed had been a huge step forward in their forever changing relationship… Will had thought it was almost like old times as they'd shared an ice-cream for desert… Hell, he'd even let her have the whole flake from the ice-cream - what more of a romantic gesture could he do! Will chuckled as he remembered her recent late night cravings for Flake bars – the only thing from England she truly missed – he was very proud to have found her a supply of them in the middle of Manhattan!

Always the gentleman, Will had offered to walk her home and when she had reached for his hand half way through the park he felt like his heart might actually explode inside of his chest. Hand in hand, they'd gotten home and Will had to admit they were somewhat like teenagers as they'd said goodnight… both longing to kiss but both terrified at the same time. It had taken all the courage Will possessed to lean into her and gently press his lips against hers but boy it was worth it – this kiss was light, but it was loaded with love and hope and Will could swear his toes were tingling all the way home.

Will looked up, hearing the commotion outside and darted to his office door… Charlie was striding over towards him a smile across his face…

"It's okay…. She's okay…" Charlie stated, holding his hands up as he walked through the door and straight over to a chair… "She's sick…"

Will couldn't remember a time when he'd felt more relieved than he did right now – in-fact it was probably the time he'd heard all those years ago she'd come through her surgery in Germany and she was going to be okay.

"Why the hell hasn't she been answering her phone?" Will almost shouted, reaching for his blackberry to check he hadn't missed any calls….

"She said it was out of battery and she just woke up…. Look I don't know… she sounded odd…" Charlie replied… "Not Mackenzie like at all - quiet mainly… She wasn't sure if she'd be here for the rest of the week when I asked…"

Will exhaled loudly and sat himself down behind his desk, his head falling into his hands once again…. "I've got a feeling this is all my fault…."

"What?" Charlie answered, his face enquiring…

"She was okay last night… I think I might have fucked everything up here Charlie… Did she say anything else? Anything about me?."

"What have you done?" Charlie asked, sounding like a Father scolding his five year old son…

Will stood and started to pace again… "Look - There was a kiss – last night…. Only a small one but…. I thought me & Mac were on the same page here – I'm sure we were… It's been so good between us Charlie - almost like old times…" Will started, but soon stopped when he say the worried look on his boss's face…

Charlie waved his hand in the air telling Will to carry on….

"I called her when I got home last night… We talked – I mean really talked for ages – talked about us one hell of a lot…. Then I woke up early and went over there and… I might have told her about the voicemail message this morning…"

Charlie arched his eyebrows at his friend… "Might have told her?"

"Okay – I did tell her – sort of…" Will answered, almost in a daze now, pacing up and down his spot on the carpet once again… "I left flowers outside her door… I left a copy of the message – you know the one from last May…. Oh man – this isn't looking good…"

"Stop pacing – you're making me sea sick…" Charlie instructed, leaning nonchalantly against Will's desk… "What did the voice message say?"

Will looked at his closest friend and shrugged his shoulders….."You don't want to know!"

"Will" Charlie bellowed and that was enough to force Will into speaking…

"Okay… It said that I love her still… That I've never stopped loving her since the day I met her – even with everything that had happened…. That I wanted us to be together… You know – the usual stuff you keep from the woman you love for nearly a year…."

Will didn't know what he expected Charlie's reaction to be but he didn't expect complete and utter silence. For a moment Charlie just nodded his head but didn't say anything – he looked deep in thought… Finally he stole a look at Will, disappointment showing on his features… "And you've waited since last May to tell her that? Nine months? You've kept her hanging on for nine months wondering…?"

"Well, in my defence – she only found out about it in August – so it's seven months…" Will answered, knowing that sounded pathetic…

"No wonder she's pissed at you…." Charlie muttered under his breath….

Will stared at Charlie for a moment before his eyes became transfixed on the clock on his wall, his muddled mind trying to figure out if he had enough time to sort this before 8pm….

"Charlie – I gotta go…" Will said, racing to pick up his coat…. "I've got to see her – to sort this out…."

"Whoa…" Charlie shouted, standing up…. "You have a show in five hours - You better be back here McAvoy…."

"I have to find Mackenzie – I have to explain – I can't fuck this up now Charlie….."

And with that he was gone leaving a more than confused Charlie watching him almost run through the Newsroom.

* * *

In the light afternoon traffic Will made it to Mackenzie's apartment in record time… He raced through the front door to her building and up into the elevators before he even knew what he was doing… When he reached her apartment door he banged on it urgently, not caring that he might be disturbing her neighbours too….

There was no answer after the first round of banging so he knocked again – this time shouting her name as he knocked…. After a minute or two he finally heard the locks turn from the inside and the door opened to reveal a dishevelled looking Mackenzie – still dressed in her pyjamas at quarter past three in the afternoon…. Her hair was half tied up, half hanging down, her eyes were dark and even as she opened the door she already had her bottom lip between her teeth, confusion clearly written all over her face…

For a moment, Will didn't have the slightest idea what to say to her – all he'd been thinking about in the cab on the way over was how to get himself out of this mess but his educated brain always seemed to turn to mush when Mackenzie was involved…

"Hey…" Will whispered, taking a step forwards but she didn't seem to be opening the door any further… She let her eyes fix onto his instantly but she didn't say a word…

Will thought back to their goodbye last night and how he had felt as her lips had touched his so gently… It wasn't much of a kiss but the feel of it had stayed with him all night long – deep into the early hours of the morning, keeping him awake long after they'd hung up the phone and making him want her even more than he usually did.

Last night had been so amazing – not planned at all but wasn't that always the way? Wasn't it the nights that 'just happened' that are always the best? He thought back to the way her hand had felt in his walking home, the way she had leant against him in the bar when they were drinking, the way they had laughed and talked all night long and the meal they had shared had made him see that they were only ever meant to be with each other. No other woman would ever match the way Mackenzie made him feel and he was pretty damn certain no man would ever make Mac feel the way she did about him – the look in her eyes had confirmed that he was the only man she ever wanted to kiss goodnight again and now he was cursing himself for not trying last night.

It was that look and the feeling of her lips against his that had woken Will from his sleep at six am that morning with only one thing on his mind – he had to win her back and he had to win her back today. Today was Valentine's Day and his thoughts instantly rushed back to those amazing Valentines in 2006 & 2007 and even the way they had hugged just twelve months ago in his office.

He didn't know when he'd forgiven her for everything that had happened but somehow he had. He wanted nothing more to spend every night kissing her goodnight, every morning awaking to that look in her eye and as he'd pulled a pair of jeans on at five past six that morning he tried to formulate some sort of plan that would show her just how much he loved her.

"Kenz?" he whispered, pulling himself out of his thoughts of last night….

She closed her eyes and leant her head against the side of the door as he stood waiting….

"Can I come in?" he asked, his hand gently pushing the door a little….

Mac looked up straight away and shook her head slightly – for a moment he thought she might actually be saying No until he realised the shake of the head was in disbelief….

"It would have helped if you'd come in when you'd left your message this morning – rather than leaving it and running away…"

She said it so quietly and so dejectedly that Will felt a sudden ache in his heart – an ache that thought she might just be turning him down here. Surely she wouldn't? Surely she loved him as he loved her?

"I thought…"

"You didn't think though did you Will? If you thought about it you'd know that we needed to talk about this? That maybe after six months of wondering what the message said that I needed to feel you in my arms… That maybe I'd want to hear the words from your lips…. Or to see your eyes when you said it – just to see if you meant it still…"

He noticed a tear creep out of her right eye and before he'd even moved a muscle to take her into his arms she had wiped the tear away…. She crossed her arms around her body defensively and once again took her bottom lip in between her teeth. Even in the cab on the way over from the office he never thought she'd be this upset over it. He was confused if he was honest with himself… He hadn't intended to just leave the roses & the memory stick with his message on it… He'd intended to wake her up and sweep her off his feet and maybe – hopefully – even make love to her but of course – all the old feelings of insecurities had shown themselves to him as he'd bought the flowers that morning. By the time he'd retraced his happy steps of last night all his confidence had ebbed away. Suddenly the Valentine's memories of 2008, 2009 & 2010 and all the feelings of bitterness and heartbreak had made their way into his mind and he'd found by the time he raised his hand to knock on her door at quarter to seven that morning that he just felt like running.

He nearly did…. He nearly ran with flowers and message still in hand but after standing outside of her door for twenty minutes trying to summon the courage from deep within he posted the message and card under her door and left the forty eight yellow roses outside of her door…..

Mackenzie made the first move after a full minute of silently gazing at each other… Finally she pulled back the door and allowed him inside her small apartment. Will pushed the door closed and followed Mackenzie into the kitchen/lounge area… As he entered the room his eyes instantly fell to her laptop where the message was still opened and paused half way through – maybe she'd been listening to it when he'd arrived… He was relieved to see it hadn't been deleted at least… When she realised he was staring at the message Mackenzie made her way over to laptop and shut it down tightly and then wandered over to her sofa and plonked herself down in the corner…

Deciding he should follow, Will crept over beside her and sat down next to her…

"Why are things never easy between us?" Mac whispered a moment or two after he'd sat down….

"They felt easy last night…" he answered, hoping to get that amazing feeling from last night back into her head…

"We were tipsy Will… Why can't we just sort out our damn feelings when we're both one hundred per-cent sober? I want to…."

Will felt a lump rise in this throat at her sadness and wanted so much to just take her into his arms… For a moment he wondered whether he should just do it? Just reach out to her and cuddle all the difficulties away…. He was certain that would help more than trying to explain himself…

He didn't of course… Instead he took a deep breath and whispered a sad "Sorry…."

"Why didn't you stay Will?" she pleaded, her eyes begging for some sort of acceptable explanation….

"I got scared…. I know it sounds stupid now… but I got scared…" He answered honestly, a second or two later…. He was done with lies and untruths between them – it was time for complete and utter honesty….

"Scared? Of me?"

"No…. never…." Will replied instantly… "More like… Scared of the situation, scared you'd say no…"

"You really think I'd say no?" she asked, a look of sorrow washing over her… "After all that we've been through and how we've been the last year? You think I'd say no to you Will?"

"Obviously I did this morning…" he replied, noticing the confused look in her eyes… "I didn't exactly plan it this way…"

Mackenzie stood up and pulled at the tips of her hair in frustration and as Will sat there watching her –knowing he'd caused all this angst - it made his already weary heat ache a little more inside of his chest...

"Don't you know how much I love you for God's sake?" Mac whispered a moment later, her face so serious and her eyes so hopeful… "I love you Will… I love you…"

Before he could answer Mackenzie's eyes were wet again…. She was standing in front of him, her hand reaching out for his…. She looked so dishevelled and so torn apart but Will couldn't remember a time where she looked more beautiful to him… He was fed up with this attempt to talk, this attempt to explain himself with her – he'd never been good with words when it came to matters of the heart with Mackenzie - actions could speak so much more than words in his mind….

He stood up and instantly bought her into his arms… He felt her respond straight away wrapping her arms tightly around him and holding onto him for dear life…. He was certain he heard a small sob leave her mouth as she buried her head deep into his shoulder a moment later… He held onto her so tightly, attempting all the time to pull her closer and now pressing soft, gentle kisses into her head.

"I love you too Mackenzie…" he whispered as he pulled away slightly and gazed into her shining eyes… "I always have…."

As a smile appeared across her face, he very slowly lowered his head and pressed his lips against hers in what turned out to be a long and loving kiss – a kiss that tried to make up for years of them being apart from each other. Will lost all kinds of rational thoughts from that moment on – he couldn't have said how long they'd stood there together – it literally could have been one minute or ten – all he knew was that he was finally kissing the woman he'd dreamt about near enough every night for the past four years…

It was a hug and a kiss that fixed more than three hours of talking could ever hope to fix and it was Mackenzie that pulled away first, her lips swollen and slightly out of breath… She led him back to the sofa and pulled him down next to her determined to sort this once and for all… "Billy - we need to sort this out – what we want… it's driving me crazy…"

Will nodded and smiled… "Can't we just start again? I want it to be like before…"

"So do I but I need to know you mean it Will…."

"I do." Will assured her his hand landing on top of hers gently…

"Answer me three questions Will – three simple questions…. I don't want you to think and analyse – I just want honest answers that could save us both hours of heartache trying to figure out all this crap…"

"Okay." Will answered, feeling more than a little confused at her comment and still trying to find the right words to make this all okay….

Mac smiled and for a moment she seemed to hesitate before finally finding her voice again…

"Do you still love me Billy? The message says you do but I need to hear it from you when you're not high…."

Will smiled and reached for her hand… "Yes…. It's only ever you Mackenzie... I love you..."

"And you want to try again? Because this has to be it Will – no more screwing around with each other – if you say yes to this - it has to be always…." She whispered, looking down at her knees, part of her obviously still unsure of his answers…

Will reached out with his other hand and raised her chin so her eyes met his… "Yes again. I want this Mac – you and me… I miss you so damn much – I miss us…. I want that back again..."

Mac struggled to stop the giggles of utter happiness that rose up in her throat and again she leaned in and pressed her lips to his… When she pulled away a moment later though the serious look of before had returned…

"Hey… where's that happy smile gone to?" Will asked, shuffling as close to her as he could, longing to see her happy smiling face again once again…

Mackenzie pulled her hand from his and cupped his cheek in her right hand…. "I need to know if you've forgiven me Will? Please tell me you have because as much as we love each other - we can't move forward unless you have…"

Will nodded without hesitation and let a huge smile cross his handsome face… "Yes…" he answered simply, cupping both her cheeks in his hand…. "Don't ask me when and don't ask me how – I just know I have…."

At that moment Will was pretty sure he hadn't seen a happier look on her face - ever… He reached out and tucked a stray few strands of hair behind her ear and then trailed his finger along her jawline…

"Really?" Mac asked, that magical sparkle he remembered seeing in her eyes back in Enrico's years ago so evident once again…

"Some things never change Mac – other things can be forgotten…." Will whispered and rested his forehead against hers… "I've never stopped loving you Mackenzie – that's not changed since the day I met you and well….. everything else that happened a few years ago – it's gone… it's in the past - forgotten and forgiven."

Will couldn't and didn't wait for a reaction… He pulled Mackenzie towards him and her hands instantly wrapped around his neck, pulling them tightly together and kissing him as long as she possibly could until the need for air became the biggest problem… As they pulled away the smiles that were written across their faces were there for all to see…

"I love you Mackenzie…."

"I love you too Billy…"

"We're really doing this at last?" Will asked…. "You'll be my Valentine again? For good this time?"

Mac giggled and nodded... "One more question…" she whispered… "Why the hell are there so many bloody roses?! Where am I supposed to put them all…"

Will chuckled and kissed her quickly… "Simple… I bought you twelve roses each year we were together… Remember the twelve waiting for you at Enrico's and in our room in Paris?"

Mac nodded, her eyes wide with excitement…. "I'm impressed that they're yellow Billy! You remembered!"

"I know – the man at the flower market gave me the oddest look when I asked for yellow roses this morning!"

"But why so many?" Mac asked again…

"Well – there's forty eight there – twelve for each year we've been apart… Just wanted to make up for lost time…!"

Mac let out a laugh and shook her head…. "Well, I know I'm not great with numbers but…." Mac thought for a moment and then started to quickly add using her fingers – a gesture Will always found so endearing… "If we include today – I reckon you're twelve short Billy!"

"Nope…" Will mumbled as he pressed a kiss into her cheek, looking very chuffed with himself… "This year's twelve are sitting on your desk waiting for you!... After I chickened out of talking to you this morning - you were supposed to take the message and the flowers as some grand romantic gesture this morning and come to work and fall into my arms – not sit here moping all day, worrying the crap out of us all!"

They both laughed as Mac pulled his hands into hers… "Oh…" she mumbled a second later, her mind suddenly only able to concentrate on the hot kisses Will was trailing down her neck and shoulder… Slowly she stood and pulled him to his feet…. "We've also got four years of catching up on something else to make a start on…." She said, pulling him towards her bedroom and trying her best to flirt with him – something Mac had never been great at!

Will chuckled and took a look at his watch… It was only four o'clock – plenty of time before Charlie would call him in a panic…. He let Mackenzie lead him into the bedroom and watched as she slowly started to slip out of her pyjamas, her eyes never once leaving his… A minute later she stood before him, naked, and Will started to wonder just how he'd survived without her for so long….

"You know… I was thinking…. Last night when we were on the phone…" Mac whispered as Will draped his arms loosely behind her back… "It was exactly six years ago today that you first made love to me…"

"I know…" Will whispered…. "I've thought about it every Valentine's day since…" he added letting his hands wander up and down her bare back, amazed at the sensations her skin was causing to his own body...

Mac took her bottom lip in-between her teeth and nodded her head… "Me too…"

Will was suddenly feeling slightly dizzy and tingling inside as she started to undo the buttons on his shirt, her lips pressing onto his chest and her hands sensually rubbing across his body the moment she had access to his skin… Once she had the buttons undone she slipped the garment from his shoulders and pressed herself against him kissing that spot on his neck that always seemed to turn his legs into jelly. Will buried his neck into her shoulders and pulled her tightly against him and somehow managed to walk them the small distance to the bed….

"I've waited so long for this to happen…" Mac managed to whisper, just before he framed her face in his hands, kissing her deeply…

"You still hate Valentine's Day?" she asked a moment later, smiling as her hands slowly undid his belt and pulled the zip down on his pants….

Will swallowed hard at the sensations she was sending around his body….. "No – not any more…" Will managed to reply, his voice hoarse with love and longing…

"Happy Valentine's Day, Billy." Mac whispered, a second before she fell backwards onto the bed, her hand reaching out for him to follow.…

It was only then that Will noticed the heart shaped pendant hanging around her neck… He slipped out of his trousers and boxers and fell down on top of her, loving the feeling of her naked body underneath his once again… He started to trail a line of soft kisses across her chest until he reached the pendant and kissed the heart shaped jewel…. He thought back to that moment in his office six years ago today when he'd given her the necklace – the moment that their love affair had really started for real – that was the exact moment he'd realised he'd wanted to spend the rest of his life with her – that she was the one true love of his life…

They'd wasted way too much time over the past few years but Will was determined he wouldn't waste a minute more – not now he finally had her back in his arms...

"Happy Valentine's Day, Mackenzie."

* * *

**THanks so much to those of you taking the time to reply - they really do mean a lot... **

**Only one more to go on this you'll be pleased to hear! :)**


	8. February 14th 2013

**FEBRUARY 14****th**** 2013 **

One year later – February the 14th 2013 at 4pm - exactly to the hour that they had reunited last Valentine's Day, Mackenzie stood outside the small Chapel and smiled happily to her Father. Although she had longed for this day for many, many years she still struggled to believe that this was actually happening – that in a matter of minutes she was finally about to walk down the aisle and become Mrs William McAvoy.

She rested her hand across her stomach and her heart skipped a beat at the thought of their baby growing inside of her – a baby that was so unexpected but now already it filled its parent's hearts with complete and utter joy. Will had assured her yesterday afternoon that the bump wasn't showing yet but she wasn't quite sure she believed him now – she felt huge and not at all bride like! Although she couldn't wait to be his wife, part of her wished Will hadn't insisted on such a quick wedding but once he had proposed he had been determined that she would become Mrs McAvoy way before their baby came into the world. Will had insisted there was no better wedding day for them than Valentine's Day so here they were – Bridegroom and Bride and ready to be joined for life.

"Ready darling?" Her Father asked quietly as they both heard the organ begin to play Mendelssohn's Wedding March... "That's our cue to go and join your husband to be" Mr McHale whispered...

Mackenzie smiled and nodded her head, not remembering a time she'd seen her beloved Dad look quite as proud as he did at that moment… He held his arm out towards her and as she linked her arm through his she couldn't help but let a small tear creep out of her eyes – if someone had told her this on those long miserable Valentine's nights in the past few years, that she would marry the man of her dreams on February the 14th in New York City she would have laughed in their faces.

The gentle stroll down the aisle seemed to go by in a blur for Mackenzie, she noticed there were their family, friends & colleagues there in the pews, smiling at her, congratulating her but really all she could see was Will waiting for her with a smile so wide on his face that it took her breath away… He looked so dashing in his black three piece suit (he hated the whole penguin suit and bow tie thing so much) and Mackenzie couldn't help but giggle at the look on his face as his eyes took in the look of her in her ivory silk and lace dress with her Valentine's Day gift of seven years ago hanging proudly around her neck.

They had been engaged for only three months and Mackenzie smiled at the memory of his proposal as she caught Sloan's eye in the crowd – in true Will & Mackenzie style it hadn't been normal but when had they ever been normal?.

_Mackenzie walked into Will's office – her face looking even paler than it had done for the last couple of days…. _

_"Hey…" she whispered and instantly leant on the side of Will's desk as he stood to greet her… He placed a gentle kiss on her lips and took her into his arms, wondering how she still had this ability to thrill him with such a simple hug…_

_"You feeling any better?" he asked, genuinely concerned…_

_Mackenzie shook her head and let her head rest on his chest – it was so unlike her to be this sick for so long – sure she'd had the odd cold or the odd sickness bug but this was ridiculous – she had been sick every day now for eight days which had started Will thinking as she'd rushed from the pitch morning three hours ago… _

_He pulled away from her and reached into his desk drawer and pulled out a paper bag…_

_"I bought you a present!"_

_Mackenzie's face was a picture as she went from excitement to confusion in an instant…. She looked inside the bag and pulled out the long thin box which is when her face dropped… She looked up at Will, her face awash with confusion…_

_"What? Will – No… it's not that… I'm fine – it's just a bug…"_

_"Mackenzie my darling… Forgive me for shocking you but you're burying your head in the sand here… You've been sick every day for the past week and a half, you haven't had a period for a good couple of months and you pulled away from me so quickly the other day saying your breast was sore when I touched you… Sweetheart - I hate to break this to you but you're pregnant…"_

_"No way Will… It's just that bug that's been going around… Everyone out there's had it…." Mackenzie muttered, her hands flying in the general direction of the Newsroom…_

_Will chuckled and led her towards his bathroom, his hand placed on the small of her back… "Okay… so it's just a bug… But do me a favour? Go humour an old guy and pee on that stick – that way we'll find out for sure…"_

_"Will… I…"_

_"sshhh – I'm not taking no for an answer Mac…" _

_"Will – I'm not pregnant…" Mac persisted… "Don't you think I'd know if I was…"_

_"You'd think eh?"_

_"Will – I'm not…"_

_"Okay – you're not - so just prove it to me!" Will mumbled with a slight push towards his bathroom… "Don't make me come and help any further Mac. Go Pee!"_

_It was nearly ten minutes later when Mac re-appeared from the bathroom, her face childlike - a mixture of scared and excitement… Will patted the spot next to him on the sofa and watched as Mac wandered over towards him in some kind of daze… "I thought you'd fallen asleep in there…"_

_"I had to read the leaflet and it's not that easy to pee on request Will…" Mac mumbled setting the buzzer on her phone for four minutes… "We'll know in three to five minutes apparently…"_

_"You okay?" Will asked wrapping his arm around her shoulders and pulling her into him…_

_"I'm not sure..." she replied, hesitantly... __"We didn't plan for this Will…"_

_"So?"_

_"So how did this happen?"_

_Will chuckled and leant forward to press a kiss to her lips… "You really need me to explain? I'm pretty sure you were there when it happened…"_

_"Will – you know what I mean…. What do we do?"_

_Will watched her face for a full minute, his heart bursting in his chest with the amount of love he felt for her. There was something about this woman that made him fall in love with her a little more each day if that was possible…. This wonderful woman who had marched into his office all those years ago and had completely knocked him off his feet. It was like the world actually changed that day – these days he was a different man - he was the man he had always wanted to be and it was all down to her – she had slowly but surely given him the love and encouragement to change him into a better man and for that he was grateful… Without him even realising she'd made it impossible to live without her in his life.. He counted himself lucky that he'd fallen in love with his best friend and he counted himself lucky that she loved him just as much in return…_

_"Marry me?"_

_Where the words had come from Will wasn't sure – he hadn't planned on a proposal - not in his wildest dreams had he planned on a proposal - but he knew in that moment that he wanted her for his wife – pregnant or not – he wanted her with him for the rest of his days…_

_"What?" Mackenzie asked, the look of shock actually bringing some colour to her face…_

_"You heard me darling…" Will whispered, placing a soft kiss to her lips… "Marry me..."_

_"Are you serious?" Mackenzie asked, he eyes wide with love and hope…_

_"I've never been more serious about anything in my life…"_

_"You might want to wait till we find the result of this test before you ask that!" Mac replied winking at Will and picking up the box… __"I still don't think I'm pregnant…"_

_"So?" Will said… "I'm not asking you because you might be pregnant… I don't care about the results of the test…" Will said, catching her hand as she started to stand… "I don't care if that test is positive or negative Kenz… I want us together…"_

_"We are together Billy…"_

_"Yeah… but I want it all official… Like it's the law that you have to stick with me – for better for worse, for richer, for poorer – in sickness and in health - that kind of thing…"_

_Mackenzie giggled and allowed Will to pull her towards him… She dropped the box onto his sofa and wrapped her arms around him…_

_"Billy – we've only been back together – What? Seven? Eight months…. You don't think it's too soon?"_

_"Too soon?" Will repeated, letting a laugh escape his mouth… "Says who?"_

_Mac shrugged her shoulders… "Well… I don't know… I…"_

_"Well, for starters, it's eight months and four days we've been back together" Will mumbled… "But what matters more is how long have we loved each other Mackenzie? All in? Nearly eight years right?"_

_Mac nodded…. She saw his point there… _

_"So no… I don't think it's too soon… Come on Kenz… I love you so much and I know you love me back the same way…. I've been thinking about this for months – not just today… Whether that box says we're going to be parents or not I still want you to be my wife…" _

_Mac giggled again and kissed him softly on the lips…_

_"What?" Will asked,_

_"This is so you and me Will… Proposing in your office, over a bloody pregnancy test!"_

_"What – you've never had someone propose to you this way?…" Will said, letting out a small chuckle… _

_"hmmmm…" Mac said, actually making out that she was thinking! "Nope – can't say I have…"_

_"See – I so wanted to be different from all the other guys… Seriously Mac - I could ask you surrounded by roses, candles, champagne, I could ask you while making love to you, I could whisk you away for a romantic weekend somewhere but it doesn't matter where or when I say this – I just want you to be my Wife Mackenzie – the sooner the better… I love you so much..."_

_"I love you too…" Mac whispered straight back… "More than you could ever know Will…"_

_"So say yes and marry me…" _

_Mackenzie smiled shyly as she whispered something so feint Will didn't hear..._

_"Sorry sweetheart - what was that?"_

_"I said you're supposed to get down on one knee to propose..." she whispered again..._

_Will pulled them both to their feet and brushed the softest of kisses to her lips… He didn't say another word before dropping onto his knee taking both of her hands in his…. "Mackenzie - You know how I feel about you… please… You know this is meant to be… Marry me?."_

_Mac didn't have to think too long – like Will she had been dreaming of this moment for months and months – even years. She too dropped down onto her knees so she was the same height as him… "Yes… Yes – of course I'll marry you Will…"_

_Will couldn't hide his delight as he kissed her and then pulled them both up onto their feet, picked her up and spun her around, finally putting her back on her feet so he could kiss her again…. He pulled away a moment later and tucked a stray hair behind her hair… "Find time for lunch with me today?" he asked with an excited grin on his face…. "We have to go ring shopping and get this all official!"_

_"I thought you had one tucked away in your drawer?" Mac asked, nodding her head towards his desk…_

_Will looked surprised as he followed her eyes to his desk drawer… "You really want that one - even after everything I told you about that?"_

_Mac giggled, remembering the argument they'd had when he'd owned up about the ring a few weeks after Valentine's Day earlier in the year… It's funny though – she could hardly remember a word of that argument but she remembered every word he'd whispered to her that night as they'd made love - it's amazing what the heart and the head choose to remember Mac thought to herself as she took his hand and led him around the desk…_

_"You bought it with me in mind right? Forget the reasons why – you were only thinking of me when this ring was bought? yes?"_

_Will nodded and sighed… "Of course… You're the only woman I'd ever consider marrying Mackenzie – you know that…"_

_"Then I want that one – it's mine already… I love it Billy – I have done since the very first time I saw it… I told you before that was the perfect ring to get the woman you want!"_

_Will chuckled at the memory of how stupid he'd been back then but he'd also known as he'd ripped up the receipt for that ring all that time ago that Mackenzie would be the only woman he'd ever consider giving the ring to… He reached for his keys and unlocked the desk drawer, his eyes never leaving hers…_

_Mac took a couple of steps towards him and wrapped her arm around his waist as he nervously undid the box once again… He reached inside and pulled out the ring and to Mac it looked even more beautiful than the last time she'd seen it… "Oh gosh - It's even more beautiful than I remember Will…"_

_Will smiled and reached for her hand…. "I love you Mackenzie…." His eyes were so full of love and happiness and he hoped Mackenzie could understand everything he was trying to say…_

_And she did – there was always something between them that meant they could read each other just with their eyes… "I love you too Billy…." _

_It sounded like a cliché but Mac was honestly certain that no-one in the world could be happier than she felt at that exact moment – she literally felt giddy with love as he slipped the ring onto her finger and then pressed his lips against hers… They had only been kissing for about ten seconds before they both heard the buzzer go off on Mackenzie's phone…. They both stopped instantly and stared at each other and then at the bathroom door…._

_"You ready for this darling?" Will asked. taking a hold of her hand and pulling her towards the bathroom… He sounded confident but now they'd reached the moment of truth Will was starting to panic a little inside - he was suddenly desperate for this test to be positive…_

_Will let go of her hand and watched as Mac casually strolled towards the sink and picked up the test… She took a moment to stare down at the stick and then held it up for Will to see…_

_"What does that mean?" Will asked a moment later – not being able to tell the result from either the stick or Mac's face…_

_Mac couldn't help but let out a giggle at his confused face… She made her way over to him and wrapped her arms around his neck… "It means, my darling, that you were right…. You better get me down the aisle before our baby starts to show!"_

_"You're pregnant?" was all that Will managed to whisper as he watched Mackenzie nod her head eagerly… "You're really pregnant?"_

_"Yup…" Mac replied, pressing her lips to his gently…. "You're going to be a Daddy…"_

Suddenly Mac felt her Father turn her towards her and lean in to press a soft kiss to her cheek… Mac hadn't even realised that she'd been daydreaming again – and this time walking down the aisle! That seemed to be her life these days though – one big dream… She smiled at her Father and then slowly turned around as she felt Will gently lay his hand on the small of her back…

"Hey…" he whispered as her eyes met his… "My Darling, You look so beautiful…"

"Thanks…" she whispered as he took hold of her hand and leant in to place the softest of kisses onto her cheek…

The priest started to speak as Mac felt Will squeeze her hand again… She looked up into his eyes and hardly heard a word that was being said for the next few seconds… She wondered if her face looked just as dreamy as Will's did and she couldn't help let out a contented sigh as Will smiled widely at her….

"I love you." Will mouthed, as the organ began to play the first hymn….

"I love you too…" Mac whispered into his ear as she felt Will wrap his arm around her waist pulling her towards him.

For the next thirty minutes it was all a bit of a blur for Mackenzie but she knew that she had managed to say the wedding vows she had written and she knew that she had shed a tear or two as she'd heard Will declare his love for her through his vows. She also knew that she had signed the register a minute or two ago which surely meant she was married right? She was finally his wife – after eight long years…. As the hymn came to an end she looked up at the priest standing before her and she giggled at how happy he even looked…

"I now pronounce you Man & Wife… You may kiss the Bride."

Had there ever been a better phrase ever spoken by anyone? Mac didn't get a chance to think much more about that phrase as Will pulled her into his arms and pressed his lips against hers… They were interrupted a moment later as a round of applause echoed around the Chapel… Mac pulled away from her husband and turned to see so many smiling faces – especially Charlie who was Will's best man – he looked every bit as proud as her own Father did.

Will gently pressed another kiss to her lips as they started to leave but not two steps were taken when Will suddenly stopped and turned around and looked in front of him… He gazed up at the beautiful stained glass window in the Chapel and smiled, nodding his head.

"You okay?" Mac whispered, wondering what was happening… She was very aware of their guests waiting for them to leave but also aware that Will seemed to have been distracted…. "Billy?"

Will briefly looked at Mackenzie and nodded before turning back… "Thank you." He whispered up towards the ceiling, his grip on Mackenzie's hand tightening…

"Who are you thanking?" Mackenzie whispered, confusion taking over her happy face…

Will took one last look at the window and then turned to Mackenzie – his face a mix between seriousness and pure joy… "The day Charlie told me you had been stabbed…. Kenz – I was a mess… I didn't know what to do and well…. After a while I found myself praying…. I made a deal with God… I had been so stubborn – I hadn't read a single email you'd sent me – well, I eventually did – but not until much later" Will whispered so only she could hear…

"You actually read the emails?" Mac replied, a single tear creeping down her cheek – to this day she honestly thought he hadn't seen a word of them… "But you said… that day I returned to ACN…."

Will nodded and tenderly wiped the tear away… "Yeah. I know but I was a jerk remember? I did read them all Mac – but not for a few months after you'd been stabbed…. Charlie told me the day you were flown to Germany for surgery… I was desperate to jump on a plane to you there and then but I knew I couldn't – I knew that it wasn't the right time for us…. I prayed Kenz – for the first time since I was a child I prayed that day and all that night… I asked God if he would just keep you alive and somehow let us find our way back to each other – I'd never ask for anything else as long as I live… I swore I'd be forever grateful to him if he saved you..."

Will smiled and gently trailed his finger down the side of his wife's face… "I just realised I never thanked him up there – he kept his end of the deal and I've been too busy loving you to thank him…."

As if this day wasn't overwhelming enough Mac didn't know what to do or what to say…

"Oh Billy…." She muttered, leaning towards him and kissing him once again…

A moment later, she heard Charlie's voice drift into her ear… "Everything okay Kids?"…

Will pulled away and winked at her… "Come on Mrs McAvoy – enough of all this sad stuff… We have dinner and dancing waiting for us at Enrico's!"

Mackenzie took his arm and honestly didn't think that anyone had ever felt happier than she did at that moment, walking up the aisle with her husband on her arm. It had been a long old road but it was worth it – every moment of doubt and un-happiness she'd had since she'd met this wonderful man were completely forgotten as they started their new lives together.

* * *

It was much, much later – after an amazing reception dinner at Enrico's, after the speeches from first her Father and then her husband (who had both managed to make her cry with happiness), after Will had held her in his arms and danced with her in front of their closest friends and family, after he'd taken her back to their new apartment and made tender love to her, after he'd whispered words of love and promises of a perfect future to her – it was then that they finally laid in bed together for the first time as Mr & Mrs McAvoy – a phrase that Mackenzie was sure she would never tire of hearing – not even if she lived to be a hundred years old….

Will chuckled to himself at the look of euphoria on her face and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear as she lay gazing into his eyes…. His finger trailed down the side of her cheek and rested itself on her lips…

"Penny for your thoughts?"

Mac sighed and snuggled even closer to him…. "You'll think I'm soppy…"

"Mackenzie my darling, you've been a bit of a soppy mess all day – Don't let me stop you now!"

"Oh… and I'm sure I saw a tear or two creep out of your eyes earlier when I was saying my vows Billy…"

"That's because I'm the luckiest man to ever live – so I'm allowed a tear or two…" Will said as he let his hand wander down to the ever growing bump on her stomach…

"I still can't believe we've done this Will… I can't believe we're married and in five months' time we're actually going to be parents… It's all a bit surreal…."

"You better believe it - it's real darling…." Will chuckled, pressing a kiss to the side of her head… "You, Mackenzie McAvoy, are stuck with me forever now" he whispered…

Mackenzie giggled sounding so happy it actually made him tingle inside… "Mackenzie McAvoy - How good does that sound Billy?" Mac replied, kissing him softly on the lips…

"Sounds pretty perfect to me…" Will smiled and leant his forehead against hers… "Now, sleep my darling… Honeymoon for us tomorrow… Two weeks on a Caribbean beach – just you, me, baby McAvoy and sea, sand and sunshine…"

"Could life get any better?" Mac whispered, snuggling as far into his chest as she could…

Will chuckled and let his eyes flicker shut… It had been by far the best day of his life but sleep was starting to take him…

"Happy Valentine's Day Kenz…" Will whispered, his wife pulled into his side and his heart so full of love for her and their unborn baby, he felt it could easily burst….

Mac looked up and saw her husband's eyes flicker shut… He looked so contented and he looked so peaceful laying there with his hand still spread across her stomach which had very quickly become his new sleeping position over the past couple of months…. She rested her hand onto his chest and gazed at the rings on her third finger sparkling back at her – two golden bands that signified just how much they were in love – just how much they were meant to be together and just how strong their love really was….

It really was true what they say – if a love is true then it can overcome absolutely anything – the story of Will & Mackenzie McAvoy had certainly proved that…

"Happy Valentine's Day Billy…"

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**THE END**

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**A/N - thanks so much for the reviews - especially my regular reviewers (you know who you are & this fluff is dedicated to you)...**

**Hope you've enjoyed this... :)**

**x**


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